Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween



Happy Samhain, all ye witches, ghosts, and ghouls.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

dreams and spells

{Personal Post.}

this morning i had a dream.
i was attending some class related to photography and art, i believe. the class was held on the little street where i live, at the top of the hill. oddly enough the top of the street was close to the way it looks during my awake moments. the people (six ladies or so) had a van parked on the side of the road with materials, and we sat in the middle of the street. a man with a dog walked by, i told him we had a saint bernard.
the people got out the supplies for us to look over, to choose which necklace or design we wanted. at first i and someone else (she is not known to me, but i liked her very much) were looking at this one large page -poster size - of these seven images or so. then we realized we didn't have to make our selection only from these, there were other pages. after looking fondly over a couple beautiful Victorian designs i saw the one i chose.
it was a piece of straw colored parchment paper, rolled up, with the bottom kind of fanned out so that it was a bit hour-glass shaped, with a rose quartz attached to it.
aaaaah, i thought. what's this one?
i peeked inside it, and written on the paper was a prayer or poem or blessing hand-written by Deepok Chopra.
i woke up right then.

i woke up thinking of prayer beads. i woke up remembering that i don't have to be in a particular mood - even when my hormones are at their most rambunctious. i am not powerless. i remembered that often in the past when i've felt strapped into something that i've simply written something on a piece of paper, and carried it with me. a talisman of symbols, or words.

i hit the wrong button on the remote (to turn up the weather volume), and changed it to channel 3, which is the catholic channel. 24/7. a man was talking about God. and how those that deny the True God live a life of a lizard or insect. i smiled at that.
not knowing that I Am God (as God is All That Is) is truly not living my best life, is it?
i don't create as I Am.
i don't believe as I Am.
i don't honor others as I Am.
i don't honor my self as I Am.

granted, i don't think that's what the fellow meant, exactly, :), but that's neither here nor there.

i was talking with a friend a few weeks ago (uh, perhaps four? :) ) about something mundane - it was when the fridge stopped working. i was in the process of cleaning out the fridge, but in the middle of that project i had to clean out a bottom set of cupboards filled with jars and pitchers and lids - it was chaotic. so i had two big projects going on at one time. then i discovered the fridge had stopped working, and i had eric call the people they use for his restaurant. they were on their way - so of course i had to pull out the fridge and clean behind and under it before they got there. you can imagine the chaos in my smallish kitchen.
i was in this frustrated, very stressed state, and my friend mentioned something about how it's nice to get these things done. i even said something like "i really do like to clean...." and i stopped short. what was i freaking about? these were three large projects (four if you count fridge repair) that were going to be taken care of - all in one day. i like to clean. why was i choosing to be panicked and so wiggy about it?
stopped me in my tracks, i can tell you.

just now, i've had two days of constant edginess and short-temperedness. the next day, yesterday, was to be a day filled with even more - our friends are moving, so the babes were spending the day here so that Mama and Daddy could get "moving chores" done.
i was worried, i don't mind telling you.
then yesterday morning, as i was cleaning and getting ready, a shift happened.
it's fine. you don't have to be attached to having another grumpy, feeling like you're crazy day.
what?
it's fine. You are fine.
[breathe] yes. i see what you mean.

it was just like that. i can't take credit for it, as i didn't make a conscious decision to change my mind. it sort of happened to me, if you see what i mean. much like it did with my conversation with my friend.

all of this together to me means that, even more, it's time to go within.
it's time to start paying attention to what i'm bringing and experiencing with Intention.
write something on a scrap of paper and tuck it into my pocket.
drag a few stones from room to room with me as i clean the house.
light a dressed candle.
meditate.
meditate, meditate, meditate.
make some prayer beads, writing words on the inside of the paper. words like love. intuition. beauty. abundance. creativity. joy.

create a beautiful life for myself.
intentionally.
i've been creating magic and joy (er, among other things) with mind and body.

but i think it's time to fully wake and re-engage my Sprit.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

inspired at home

while i've been inspired by several different things lately (and I really will post about them soon!), things in my home have captured my attention as well.

such as open doorways. which is quite a treat at the end of October around these parts.

sunlight streaming in.

a potion. after purchasing a new burner specifically for the den (and it looks lovely in there) and since we spend so much of our time in that part of the house right now - out on the patio creating, in the den watching the tellie, coloring and painting, on the computers, building - on and on it goes... i thought that i needed a "den" potion.
i have a potion of oils for just about every occasion, including a few different "happy home" blends.
but for the den, i wanted something special. specifically for our activities there.
creativity.
harmony.
balance.
happiness.
interested?
there's clary sage for creativity, cedar, geranium, and lavender for harmony and balance, bergamot for joy, and lavender for love.
delicious, i tell you.

this.i've planned to put up plaids (vertical and horizontal stripes) in my son's room for quite some time. not on the entire walls, but about half-way up. i'll leave this bead-board wall plain, however. here are the colors that i have already, and see how gorgeous they'll be with his decor.
inspiring, indeed!

a clean room.plenty of room for inspiration-- book reading and tea parties and kitchen and other imaginary play.
a clean house.
with the sunlight streaming in.

there's much love at home.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

disorderly disorders

When we were at the farm a couple of days ago, there was a little girl, Kira.
She was five years old, and took to Trev right away, even though she kept saying "she", and Trev would say, "I'm a boy!, for the last time!" (Something he gets often. Even though if anyone looked past his hair, he clearly looks and acts like a boy.)
When we went over to the big climbing tree, she came too, with her Grandpa.
She was super cute! We enjoyed her company very much. Especially Trev.
After she had a bit of trouble with the tree, and kept going from place to place, figuring out where she could climb well, and wanting to be up where "she" was, I told her a true story.
"You know what, Kira? Last time we were here, Trev wasn't able to climb this tree nearly so well. He was getting kind of stuck, and not nearly so fast. I'll bet next time you come, you'll be better at it."
"Yeah! When I'm about ten, I'll be really fast!"
"Totally. By then you'll be fast as a squirrel, running all over the branches. And people will be like What was that? Was that a squirrel?"
"Yeah!"

A little while later we went back to feed the goats again. We had found some still juicy yellow leaves that the goats were particularly fond of.

Curiously, Kira's grandpa all of a sudden said to me, "Kira has functioning autism. Have you heard of Asperger's?"
"Yes."
"That's why she's so..." and waved his had vaguely over his head. (Not in an unkind way.) "She has people working with her all the time."
"We're homeschoolers!" I wanted to blurt out in response.

I'm still not sure what I meant by my Almost Confession...
I might have meant, We're homeschoolers - we don't judge people by such silly, boxed-in, schoolish standards.
Or - We're homeschoolers, we like to let people be themselves, and learn their own way.
Or - We're homeschoolers, is why we're different than others.

What I did say was, "She's just like mine, to me. They're emotional. Just like their mother."
What I hope he understood was "Not everyone is looking at you funny. Some of us believe in supporting children, even when they don't fit into neat boxes of stillness for six hours a day. Some of us believe we need to adapt to serve the children, not change the child. Some of us accept people and things the way they are. Some of us wouldn't dream of calling you names just because others think you're different."
Even if he didn't know it, hopefully he felt it.
Hopefully it lightens his mind for the future.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Sunday, October 19, 2008

riposte

Funny how when the weather was cold, I looked to the inside for guidance and comfort in my days.
Now we're getting Indian Summer days, and I'm leading our rambunctious stomps and derring-do's.
I feel so different than I did a week ago.
The furnace is turned off, the windows and doors are open again, and I skip warm coffee altogether and go straight for a glass of iced tea in the mornings.
I don't think it's just the warm air in itself - it feels like my cycle is in keeping with nature's, and that all I can do is go.
Hurry. Into the sunshine.
Don't stop to sit to write. Don't ponder too much - just go.
It's like Nature has grabbed me by the hand, pulling, and pleading "Will you come on already?!"

Maybe I should be thinking (until the storm comes) My Love Affair With Summer.
Fresh linens from the line, anyone?

written

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Dear Mother Nature...

Hello, Dearest Mama!
I wanted to let You know that I so appreciate Your holding off Autumn In The Valley until I got the camera situation straightened out.
You were quite right that there was no way that my birthday (and the 40th even!) would arrive without a bit of self indulgence. It never does.
But now, as You can see, I'm quite ready, and really Mother, we have waited long enough.
You've given us frozen gardens, You've given us the autumnal breezes, offered us the brilliant deep blue skies, and You've sent us the much shorter days. Now, Dearest Mother, please send us the Glory.
Oh, and Mother, I did notice that strange (let's not call it gray) hair you gifted me with yesterday. Was that some sort of funny joke?
Why on earth would You send such a thing to a girl just a few days before her 40th Birthday?!
I'm trying not to feel betrayed, Mother, I really am. I keep thinking that maybe you sent Sister Moon to me to gift me with a bit of silver....

hmmph

sittin' here playing with my camera instead of straightening up so that we can walk to friends' in a couple hours.
sheesh.
walked around aimlessly yesterday with camera in my hand - waiting for the children to do something. :)
shoulda been cleaning.
and straightening up.
instead i didn't even do really anything.
same as now.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

love it

love it love it loveitloveitloveit.

However will i send it back if they can fix mine?

(you know i'm referring to the new camera, right?)

hi there

straight out of the box.

"I ruined your pictures..."
"No you didn't."
"Yes I did."
"You made them better!"

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

basking

The last few days I've been contemplating gentleness - mostly how to better live it, and Be it.
For me, Gentleness includes lots of delicious things - being intuitive, feminine, being appreciative, being mindful (truly present), walking softly, treating the children with loads of kindness, puttering around the house cleansing it of mental and emotional debris even as I wipe down the fridge.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a close friend regarding abundance and creativity (as in creating one's life). The conversation continued this morning along the lines of gratitude and being appreciative -as in raising the value of life- of the Good Things around us.

Early this morning before the babes were awake I had cleaned a few rooms, and had a minute to sit in my livingroom in utter peace - and to watch the sunlight stream in and set things aglow.
I was appreciative.
I grabbed my laptop, plopped on the couch, and tried my best to capture in a few words my feelings of gratitude for these things - not only for their own sake, but for the sake of honoring the beauty life offers me.

An hour or so later I noticed that my Aunt Kathy had written a new post, "A Charmed Life Indeed". Referencing a short post a couple of days ago that I had written about being appreciative and charmed by little things. She, too, was contemplating things that were bringing comfort, contentment, peace, joy, and ease.

A little while ago as I was fixing my lunch I was pondering what book I wanted to feed my soul with as I ate. Simple Abundance, I thought.
I want to read Simple Abundance.
Remember it, from a hundred years ago?

I've rarely picked it up. Never read the whole thing.
But I wanted it today.

Now lots of folks have their Good Book's. For some it's a bible, for some it's the I Ching, for some it's Tarot cards, or runes, The Tao of Pooh, or the Tao te Ching.
For me, it's all of it. I like to listen for Goodness -Godness- in everything. In whatever I pick up in that moment.

Here, (smiling, now) is what I read today as I opened my book to just any ol' page.

"
January 18
Beauty: Opening Our Eyes to the Beauty That Surrounds Us

While the Simple Abundance path is gentle, its lessons are powerful. First of all, we learn to be grateful no matter what our circumstances may be. In offering gratitude for our real lives, we discover how to change them for the better. As we embrace simplicity, we learn that less is truly more. This freedom encourages us to bring order to our affairs and cultivate harmony in our inner world. Going at our own pace, learning to recognize our limitations, appreciating our progress, we weave the lessons into the fabric of our daily moments until they become a part of us.
Suddenly one day we feel very much alive and desire more beauty in our personal quest. We come to a deep awareness that creating a beautiful life is our highest calling. "It was as if I had worked for years on the wrong side of a tapestry, learning accurately all its lines and figures, yet always missing its color and sheen," the journalist Anna Louise Strong confessed in 1935. We understand her sentiments as life's color and sheen and beauty call to us.
Today, explore ways to see your world differently. Let your eyes drink in the beauty that surrounds you. Walk to a gallery on your lunch hour and meditate upon a beautiful painting, or into your backyard this afternoon to catch that "certain Slant of light" that so enthralled Emily Dickinson. Gaze into the faces of those you love, set the table with care, and relish the preparations you make for dinner, delighting in the presentation of your meal. Light the candles, pour wine or sparkling water in your prettiest goblets, and celebrate this new awareness. It is in the details of life that beauty is revealed, sustained, and nurtured.
Outside, winter's darkness closes in. Inside, you have found your own Light.
"

Isn't life a beautiful, amazing thing?

gratitude

this morning i'm thinking....
cleansing, peacefulness, gentleness, a month of sundays, a walk with the children to gather pods and pinecones and fuzzy dried flowers, clean white counters...

at this moment i am appreciating:

pondering all the joyous or peaceful moments I can create for This Day
blue skies
still trees
a vase of sunflowers glowing in the sunlight streaming through the window
stillness
paper jack o'lanterns glowing orange under the morning's sun
a perfectly tidy and quiet place to sit
Being

Sunday, October 12, 2008

sacred life sunday: a little charmed

a friend said to me a couple of years ago "you've lived a charmed life". he was referring to the fact that I was dumbfounded that upon opening the box containing Trev's new swingset that he had purchased, we didn't have all the required bolts.
but none-the-less, Dear Reader, when such lovely compliments come around, i always accept them.


things that are charming me today:

snow outside my window

gentle rustle of the furnace air blowing

quiet

umbrella drying on the porch

thick knitted socks

a pot of water bubbling and steaming on the counter, waiting for...

a cup of tangerine orange zinger tea

tonight's full moon - and pondering what magick might be done today

my new sturdy winter shoes

remembering that I need to make soap today

my babies' sweet sleeping breath


what's charming your life today?

snow

it's snowing.
sigh.
the roofs are white, everything has a blanket of an inch or two of snow.

oh my goodness.

well...... alright, then.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

in gentleness

another perfect day.

grey skies.... soft breezes.... gentle rains..... the children are following quiet pursuits of mellow computer games and painting.

this morning Maddie and I left home for a neighborhood walk - carrying a large brown basket, a pair of scissors, and an umbrella. We collected sunflowers, and rusty dried weeds that will be beautiful in our Autumn arrangements.

Since then I've collected roses, lavender, and peppermint from our gardens.

It feels like a Sunday.

There's a hush in our home - probably attributed to the closed windows, the soft whoosh of air coming from the heat vents, lit candles, and the gentling essential oils simmering in their pot.

There is beauty and gentleness here, today.
All is well.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

the promise of today

for this perfect day i have intentions.

i'm cleaning - tidying up. it'll be easy and stress free - under a few toys and books are clean counters and floors.

i'll be fetching my witch friends from the garage, and setting them free to fly about my home.

i'll be taking a neighborhood walk to collect sunflowers. and maybe interesting pods.

and i'll be going up the mountain to listen to the quiet, breathe the cold air, feel the crunching of leaves under my boots, and to gather a few beauties for myself.

perfect.

blessings to you.

burrowing into

Even though the weather isn't unfriendly, I'm still finding myself burrowing in.

Staying in my home.
Cleaning thoroughly and often.
Warming up the kitchen with soups, cookies, and pots of water for tea or decadent chocolatey coffees.

It's another reconnection, I think.
In the spring we awake and are enlivened by the joy and life Mother Nature offers us. We tread so softly on the earth - carefully watching for the youngest sprouts and tiniest buds.
She invites us to join with Her in celebration --alive!, alive!, rejoice!, she sings and sways.
And we celebrate life with her. For the next several months.

And then suddenly - and it does seem to happen suddenly, for me - everything slows down.
The fruit stops falling from the trees. The beauties in the garden just stop ripening.
Now there seems to be a hush across this land of mine - everything seems to have just... stopped.
There are not many obvious signs of autumn here, yet.
The trees in the valley are still green. I don't hear the rustling of leaves, or see them tumble pell-mell down the road.
All the world is not colored in golden oranges, browns, and reds.

But it's here, none the less.
I can feel it making its way into my thoughts, and even into my daily activities.

Inside my Self I can feel autumn breathing its first sighs.
I feel it in the mornings when I awake, burrowed into my lush comforter filled with down.
I feel it as I put my feet into the first pair of socks I've worn in months.
I feel it in my mind - wanting to get to a deep and still place, instead of being lured by the excitement promised by gallivanting adventures.

Outwardly, my world seems to have paused at this precipice.
In our very next collective breath, shared between Mother and I, I expect this world to change right before my very eyes.

All of me welcomes it.

camera

Oof.
Startin to go crazy.
I'm entering the next season with no camera! The last part of summer, and the beginning of autumn with no pictures.
Shop called, can maybe fix, maybe no. Will know in two weeks. Or three. Hmmph.
The new Canon SX10 IS comes out in a week or so. I've got my eye on it. Is it wrong to almost hope that mine can't be fixed? I love mine! It has a great zoom, 12x optical, and the macro is wonderful. And it films movies.
But the new one! It has a zoom of 20x optical!!

I just want a camera.....

Friday, October 03, 2008

last night's debate

my only thoughts on it are:

every time (and there were at least three) time she said "we'll do something about the corruption on Wall Street...", I kept thinking, "What about the corruption in the oil industry?"....

get with the times

oof.
I finally took my camera into the shop.
Was considering picking up a new one - either to keep or borrow, depending on repairs to mine (the drowned one. remember that?).
Turns out, Canon's new version of mine is out in 3 days, and no one in the valley has one.
Hopefully life will be back to normal with pics in a week!
I do okay, and then I go crazy with not having it....