Depleted

I am almost completely worthless today. I couldn't get anything done yesterday, either. I think it is probably from Trev's accident, I am just about totally drained. I get up to get a chore done, and within seconds I am drifting somewhere else, and then sitting down a few seconds later. The only thing that really appeals to me is laying down, watching tv, or sitting here reading.
A temporary dis-ease.
I just really wanted to get my house in perfect order today, for Eric has the day off tomorrow, and we usually try to have a fun family day. Maybe since I've spent two days in a daze, tomorrow morning I will be renewed, and can get some things done before they even wake up. One can hope.

I've been reading this book, called "Spiritual House Cleaning". I read alot from other homeschoolers, and unschoolers, and a lot of them have a relaxed, "it can always be done later" philosophy. To leave the house, if it (the mess) is bothering you, and get outside and forget about it.
I'm not able to do that, and reading this book makes sense to me, as it is how I feel. If I see messes around me, it makes me feel nervous and chaotic, or angry, or completely frustrated. It feels like there is ....crap....taking over my life. I don't like it. That is not to say that my house is usually perfect, (because it isn't), only that I always wish it were. I find life much more pleasant, and bliss attainable when things are neat and tidy. It feels like starting afresh, and not having lurking garbage (physically and energetically) around helps me with moving forward into another happy moment. No crap wearing me down, or dragging me back into yesterday's yuckies.
Anyway, it was nice to read someone else's philosophies that are in line with my own, although she speaks as if she lives alone (grin).

I gotta go think about supper now.
bye for now