Sometimes it's hard for me not to disdain the world out there. Well, its humans, anyway.
I often wake up in the middle of the night. It used to be at three something, lately it's a little after two.
There is an ancient wisdom (I'll have to look it up to be more specific) that says something like "The morning has secrets to tell you. Do not go back to sleep. Do not go back to sleep." This comes from the idea that the world around us is the most quiet at around three a.m., and that if you listen carefully, you'll find your Truths and wisdom in the silence.
Sometimes I get up, and get out of bed. Sometimes I go back to sleep.
Usually I grab the television's remote before I commit either way.
Have you cruised through channels in the middle of the night?
This is where my enmity has come from.
I landed on I think it was Mtv, and there was a girl there showing us riveted folks at home her pink labels on her hummer's hubcaps. Fascinating stuff, that.
I kept wondering "who is this, and why is she telling me this?" (Cribs, I believe.)
I was asking Eric yesterday if he knew anything about the Britney Spears thing. I said "there is something about her and her family, but I'm not sure what it is. Do you know?" No, he said. No help there. The best bit of info I gleaned was something about she shaved her head a while back to mock the people that follow her around - paparazzi. "Well, that's something," I thought. Even if it's a "screw you" to all this nonsense.
Anyway, one of my least favorites is the show/commercial where the guy sits on the couch, and talks with three or four reasonably young women about how important the size of their partner's anatomy is. Evidently it's imperative that the world be aware that you can do something about it, if only you will.
It's difficult to not assume that this is the sort of thing that people want to watch - for it's on. Would it be on, if no one was interested? Seems unlikely.
So - who is clamoring for this stuff?
One of my least favorite kind of shows in general (besides Cops, which I detest for a number of reasons) are the Hollywood entertainment shows. I just don't care. If I stretched it, I could probably come up with two or three dozen actors and actresses.
I'm not angry at all, or even slightly disgusted, really, now that I've thought about it for a couple of hours - I'm just wondering what my place in it is.
I was wondering about my judgments of it - such things that to me seem really superficial and nonsensical - and how I could come to terms with this huge part of my society.
I understand entertainment. Well, maybe I don't understand it, exactly (sports, entertainment tonight, hollywood marriages), what I mean is that I understand that people feel the need to suspend their lives for a moment, and escape into something else.
But I was wondering how to get passed the momentary judgment.
And I was judging.
Strangely, the answer I came to was "This is not Yours."
No judgments. No thoughts of contempt. No rolling of the eyes.
Just "This is not Yours."
It does not belong to you. It is not there for you.
See it, notice it, write about it if you must, :), and then move along.
"Oh. Well, then. Yes. Yes, I see."
It's gone, now.
No contempt. No thoughts of foolishness. No disdain for adulation or hero worship for those showing off their sparklies.
I'm left with the quiet knowledge that it's just not there for me.
I feel much better about it, now.
So.... should I go back to bed?