Monday, February 25, 2008


When I typed that in, I typed in "dgo". Maybe that would be better. :)

I think I've pretty well got it figured out.

It gets easy to judge whether or not your actions come from ego.

I've had to really pay attention to the things I say, how they come out of my mouth, and really consider where it came from.
Sometimes (typically) the answer has been "because I wanted to demonstrate that I knew better than that."
Aaah, ego, then.
Stupid stuff.
Stuff that doesn't even mean anything - other than to point out to myself that I am better, or wiser, or more aware, or more conscientious, or better informed.
Not that these things (where one is upon his or her path) are insignificant - certainly they are not. What I mean is, I might give my answer or response in a snotty way (if only in my head), feeling that I am above some one or some thing else.
I don't even mean displaying arrogance, for most of the time it just happens in my head.

I'm pretty much astounded how often it happens. That I say or do things from that place.
In everyday stupid situations, even. It's ridiculous.

The trouble I was having in understanding it was that I couldn't separate the individual from the ego. Or dgo.
It seemed to me that without ego, we'd all blend into the same homogenized glob of nothingness.

I've since come to realize (since witnessing my doing and saying things from the point of ego) that there is more to Us than just That.
Since I know that All There Is wants only to express Itself (or Herself or Himself), and to experience All There Is instead of just understanding that It is All There Is, then to have Us be the exact same - sans ego - would be pretty pointless.
I mean - we have to be made of substance other than just ego.
Some of us are very, very serious (time after time, I believe). Some of us like to lead. Some of us love to make people laugh. Some of us find our hearts belong to animals. Or the hills. Or the sky. Or to the stars. Some of us long to dance. Some of us want to paint the streets of Paris, or fields of flowers, or ships on the horizon. Some of us want to be a Peace Pilgrim. Or a nun in Calcutta. Some of us imagine ourselves to be Gentlemen Pirates. Or farmers. Or opera singers.

So I've come to have a little more trust in God, I think. (I had a rather vast amount before, mind you, but somehow I believed that ultimately God wanted to take me away from myself.)
It occurs to me now - even as I sit here - that God (All There Is) has no need to take me away from myself - but that God is perfectly willing to allow me to be Me infinitely, as I am not actually separate, at all, but only in individualized part of All There Is. I am not and cannot be separated from It.
So God is missing nothing.
And God experiences everything.

And now I'm getting quite serious about kicking this ego of mine out of my business, and looking forward to the rewards for living my life even more on purpose.
Which will, of course, involve wondrous things like synchronicity. And manifesting. And greater intuition. And much more peace.
And "discovering that you're a greater person by far, than you even imagined yourself to be."

1 comment:

Melissia said...

I have thought a lot about something you asked me awhile back and this brought the thought back up again. You asked me how I would describe myself if someone asked me to use 10 words. I did not know how to answer the question for a really long time- months. Then one day I realized that I would want to answer the question with what I am trying to be: honest, kind, respectful, tolerant, loving, and the other qualities I want to become. But as you say I would still have my own personality. I would still be me but without the masks and barriers and the self conciousness that, for me, comes from being what I know is not really who I am.

Thanks for the post.