Sunday, February 03, 2008

Mastery Part 3

I think I'm becoming even more unattached to What Others Think Of Me.

I wrote not too long ago that I was joining the Small Is Beautiful/Passionate Blog ring because I wanted to remind myself that my blogs are about My Stories and My Truths.
This idea may seem dismissive of other's good opinions, and that I don't hold others opinions in very high regard. Of course it's not that - it's just that I'd like to be free from that particular bondage.
For me, being a writer (one who explores through the written word) and one who likes to explore and explode the workings of the goings on in her mind, it's best that I use this medium for truth seeking and expression in just that way - and without thought to how well my words will be received.

It's been my consideration for a couple of months now that my reputation (with whomever comes in contact with me virtually or in person) is not something that is located in me, and not something for which I am responsible. All I can do is live my truths.

If I label a thing as stupid - that does not render the thing to something stupid. If I call it foolish, it does not change its being to foolishness. If I judge something or someone in a thousand ways, it does not make it so - it only shows me to be one who has a need to feel superior. It only demonstrates that I am One Who Must Judge.
Others judgments do not change me.
Nor should they - no one but Me knows what my spirit seeks to be - and the things it seeks to experience.
I Am The Only One Who Knows My Truth.
I Am The One Who Hears The Call Of My Spirit.

This realization came to me today - and it about brought me to tears.

I am responsible in my life.
I respond to all of my children's needs.
I embrace their desire to demonstrate who they are.

It is my absolute wish and intent to live my life and to subsequently raise my children according to what I know Myself, God, and my place in the Universe to be.
Harming none, betraying none.
Embracing expansiveness and embracing the needs of the soul.
In absolute Beauty, absolute Gentleness, and absolute Love.
I shall not feel doubtful or be apologetic for residing in light and love.
It is where I need to be.


ladybug-zen said...

very beautifully put. and good for you.

ladybug-zen said...

by the way, i don't mean that first comment to be patronising in any way.
not worrying about what others think if me has been one of the issues forefront on my mind lately. it's something i still struggle with daily. i catch myself doing even when i think i'm not and it frustrates me to no end.
as an almost 40 yr old woman, i would love to be rid of it for good.
is it something we are ever rid of though?...completely?
yes, i think so. actually i know so. i've met women like it who are completely, utterly and unapologetically comfortable with who they are. i've always stood in awe of them. i hope some day to be like that.

Stephanie S. said...

LZ - you wrote "I catch myself doing it even when I think I'm not doing it..."
It's possible that I do it, too.
Like you, I don't want to live my life worrying how I can make my (perhaps unpopular) choices seem like wise ones or acceptable to others.

Judge or not - it is another's to carry, and not mine.

I have people that I trust and friendships that I know I can believe in, and be myself and not worry. That is enough.
Indeed, it is blessed.

Lerend Zonder School said...

More often than not, when I read your blog, your posts are about something I've been thinking about recently or have been going through myself, and this is one of them. I usually want to type a comment as fast as I read it, and the only reason I haven't been is that I find that I'm still working through whatever the said subject is about and really haven't come to my own truths about it. Or it's something I've already found my truths about and don't want to leave a "how to solve this problem" type comment, as I realize that everyone needs to come to their own truths in their own way in their own time.

Anyway I'm actually as we speak typing up a post concerning my own thoughts on this subject in a round about way.

You've clarified a bit for me on some things I was struggling with:)


Stephanie S. said...

Julie -
I just figured that people are rolling their eyes and saying "here she goes again!" :) and moving on and not reading.
Which is an idea that I've gotten used to.

I'm glad to hear that it's something sometimes that you've been pondering yourself.
And I will gladly accept all of your comments and solutions - even (at worst) if it is not in the exact spirit of the way I would choose to do it, we're often inspired to something by a spark of something else.
Others who read might find truth and solution to your words as well.

Besides that - nothing that I write here is ever final - every idea and thought will hopefully always shift and expand and grow - indeed, it's why I write here.
I look forward to your post.

piscesgrrl said...

I'm not writing more because, simply, I'm tired, but your thoughts are lovely and I'm always glad you share them. :)