Upon entering the ru world, there were a few things that I had to work out.
Have I ever mentioned that I like getting up at three something -or almost- a.m.? It's really quite nice to know that everyone is tucked in safe and sound and that I am free for whatever pursuit calls to me.... [grin] especially when Eric has the day off and I know I can always sneak off for a little n.a.p. later....
Attachments, of course. Being bossy (still working on that one. My daughter shook her finger at me yesterday and said "don't boss me!" :) )
But there were deeper things too than just the ones on the surface.
Judgments of things - like things that I might consider violent. Mostly my children don't like anything violent or scary - the exception is that Trev really likes Tom and Jerry.
I had to reconcile what I judged to be violence and the energy I felt (or maybe feared is more appropriate) that it brought into my home (and the world) with living the ru life. Not because I want to play by ru rules (an oxymoron, to be sure) but because I can see that I don't have the right to choose someone else's preferences, and I don't really have any wish to control my children in such a way. I don't feel that it's right. Or prudent, for that matter.
So eventually I was able to let it go.
I got to a place where I was sort of thinking "no harm, no foul".
But in the last couple of weeks, as I have begun really to make some shifts within myself, I'm starting to reconsider my dismissal of its potency.
I have a couple of years experience of living/growing ru now, and I'm not swinging in a more conservative direction, certainly, but it has crossed my mind that it might be a good time to start talking to my children about thinking more globally.
I'm certainly not going to make my son feel ashamed for liking Tom and Jerry (et al), but I'd like to be hyper-aware of my own actions and reactions that do not demonstrate peace.
They know I meditate.
They know that I listen to lectures of people that want to make a difference in the world.
They know that I believe in peace.
Trev is really quite aware of "making the world a better place". We went to our neighborhood grocery store the other day, and (unbeknownst to me) there was a PTA thing going on, and there were people everywhere, and a hippo in a tutu, and balloons, and singing, etc (I got sort of wiggy with all these people in my store) and Trev supposed that Harmons had all this going on -before we found out why- because "Maybe Harmons is just trying to make the world a better place, Mom." :)
So, it's not as if my children are unaware of these things.
But I think it's time to really start encouraging them to think beyond their own immediate thoughts. Maybe it's time to introduce more intentionally the big picture.
Not in a judging, blaming, and frightening way, just in a global "all thoughts and words are powerful" sort of way.
It will be tricky, maybe.
I don't want them to feel that I am judging them, ever. I certainly don't want my children to make their choices from a place of shame or fear -- but always from love and joy.
I think for now, the best thing, is to be quite open with where I am, and where I think my spirit is going, and what that means to me.
Seems like a great place to begin.