Tuesday, March 18, 2008

march 18

I've been asking "why mindfulness?"
Because, you know... why is always my question. And if the answer makes no sense to me, then I'll make my choices as I choose. Authority, or no.

So I listen and I listen and I listen.
And the first thing I hear (many days later, after listening) is "the kingdom of God is in a mustard seed" said Jesus. And what he meant, of course, is that what you nurture and water and take care of is what grows. (ie if you place that mustard seed in damp soil, and water it, and nurture it, then pretty soon it is a great tree, and a home for much life.) So watering the seeds of happiness would be much more helpful to someone that wanted to live in happiness. As opposed to watering the seeds of anger.
Right. I've understood this for a long time. Check. Got it. Mindfulness comes in handy, here.

The second thing I heard (even a day later after listening and listening and listening some more) is "Happiness can only be found in the present moment." Yes. Agreed. "You can only enjoy the blue sky in the present moment."
Also something that I've understood for quite some time. I get that. That's pretty much what recognizing the Ordinary Life Magic is about. Check.

So yesterday I was going along, thinking and wondering, and I thought... Is that it?
I mean, isn't there going to be some Great Esoteric Understanding?
What greatness to be found in Being Awake? (Please understand that I am not making fun, here, but sincerely questioning.)
It's the same question, for me, of why meditate? I mean - I do it, (I've meditated on and off for many years, and I believe it's a permanent part of my life, now) I love it, but why am I doing it? Particularly, what does this thirty (or however long) minutes of peace do for me in the whole of my life? Outside of that thirty minutes? I know that it's important... I'm just not certain why it's important.

And then yesterday (remember that I've spent the last few days practicing walking meditation - which means engaging in mindfulness, as well as little moments throughout the day) I experienced a couple of things.
One, I reacted (I might have shouted "Hey!", or something) to something one of the children did. I don't remember, now. And directly afterward, I automatically stepped outside myself.
Huh, I thought. Why did you do that (react the way I did)?
I'm not sure. But this experience (meaning stepping outside of it) we are having now is interesting.
And then it happened again. And another time.
It's like time stopped, and I was able to witness what was going on from a non-judgmental viewpoint, like I was observing from outside of the situation.
I would say here, I'll be damned, but that seems inappropriate. :)

So life carries on, and then I start to remember other things. That "All you can do is take care of this moment. There is no other."

Then I start to think of all the listening I've been doing over the last few months, and how once in a while a focus point will stand out, and be directly helpful (such as meditating on Be Creativity, Be Beauty, Be Kindness, Be Love, Be Abundance, Be Ever Expansive, Be Receptivity), but for the most part it's the living and the contemplating and the all-of-a-sudden Being in which I've found the shifts.
They're not always obvious, or even apparent.
It's like (typing and thinking very slowly, here)
the road
- or The Way*, maybe :) -
be named,
or even contemplated,
or chased,
it can
only be experienced
and found
in a Moment.


So that leads me to - You mean, just by being mindful of what is happening in various 'now' moments, I will be better prepared for all present moments?
That engaging in meditation and mindfulness shall aid me in observing (from a distance) what is happening in a non-reactive way?
How cool is that? (if I find it to be so.)

What I am thinking is -experiencing the moment must, then, be done in (and with) spirit.
Stepping outside (leaving judgment, interpretations, and feelings of offense - all ego) must engage (bring to the forefront) Spirit. Spirit must lead the way.
That can only be good.
Spirit seeks to create.
Soul longs to experience.
I get to choose my experiences.
I get to experience Oneness.
I get to live a glorious life,
while being with God.

I leave you with Hafiz (From the wondrous collection I Heard God Laughing):

You Better Start Kissing Me

Throw away
All your begging bowls at God's door,

For I have heard the Beloved

Prefers sweet threatening shouts,

Something on the order of:

"Hey, Beloved,

My heart is a raging volcano

Of love for you!

You better start kissing me--
Or Else!"


*This was a reference to The Tao Te Ching, (quite by accident) which is often called the Way.
The very first verse is:
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth.
The named is the mother of ten thousand things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery.
Ever desiring, one can see the manifestations.
These two spring from the same source but differ in name;
this appears as darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gate to all mystery.

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