Friday, March 14, 2008

wandering

I was discussing walking through the neighborhood with Eric this morning, and he said something like "I love walking." And I thought I never have. "I would if we lived in the country...." I said, trying to put my finger on what was different about my enthusiasm for my walks the last couple of mornings.
"You know what it is?" I said, half to him, half to myself, "It's that I'm not walking just to be walking. I'm not walking out of duty, for exercise. I'm walking to practice Mindfulness."
And that's it.
I have an intention.

Part of my road to mastery is learning profound mindfulness, and being able to put things (anger, frustration, intense doubt) aside for a few moments in order to regain mindfulness.
It seems a fitting practice toward achievement of the things I intend to become.

So that's it.
Other things - fitness, feeling like I've made a token commitment to exercise, or to my physical well being - those things are not priorities. Well, not at the top, anyway. Most times other things can serve my body and spirit just as easily - a clean kitchen floor, a tidy desk area for computer play, picked up bedrooms that just beg for a rolicking half hour or so of pretend play, on and on it goes.
But spiritual wellfare? Mastery?

Well, that's different.
That, my friends, tops the list.
Being a good Mama -- which means less stressed, more able to bite off what wants to come out of my mouth in the name of reaction, and more able to laugh and shine - not to mention being an able representative of what my spirit wants for me - that is what it's all about.

I'm not wandering out of drudgery.
I'm walking (and waking) in Mindfulness.
Being aware and intent in every step - literal and mystical - that I take.

3 comments:

KMDuff said...

I had to think about this a while to really get it. Thank you for your words. Helpful. :)

singingfamily said...

I had one of those by accident walks through the woods yesterday and it was beautiful and quiet and sacred, there was no goal and no task I was trying to accomplish, just being.

Stephanie S. said...

M-
I wasn't trying to be cryptic or mysterious.
What I wanted to express (because I noticed a difference) was...
while I have a difficult time with putting exercise at the top of my list, if I am walking as a form of meditation, or with an aim for personal and spiritual growth, I find that it is easy to make it a priority.

In the past, even during times of being outwardly motivated, it has died down quickly because it's been sooo easy to say "well, I'll just straighten this up, first", or "I'd really like this floor cleaned...." and then the children awake, and so goes my day.

But spiritual evolution is easy for me to hold invaluable and put at the top of the list.