Sunday, July 15, 2007

A Different Day

So as you know I have a certain intention for this weekend. (Eric's weekends begin on Sunday, always, and we have the cabin until Tuesday, so I'm calling today through Tuesday our weekend.)

I'm trying to figure out how to begin.
Setting my mind, if you will.
I'm doing my best not to have any expectations. I've tried to work out a plan with Eric - you take the children and dog for a couple of hours, and I'll take them for a couple of hours. (one of his favorite fishing spots is about 20 minutes away.)

I have visions of meditating while sitting on the sandy beach, letting the wind riding the waves brush across my face and skin, carrying my doubts and impatience far, far behind me.
I see myself sitting amid tall grasses with my sketch pad, my deluxe colored pencils, charcoals, and water-color pencils.
I see myself sitting on the cabin's porch, notebook in my lap, tea by my side, with my feet propped up on the railing, click-clack-tapping away at my keyboard.

I have other visions, too.
Seeing Trev investigate under rocks with his magnifying glass. (a favorite pastime at home.)
Building sandcastles. Or hills. Or burying secret treasures.
Checking out Ant Lion pits.
Playing Steps From Home.

I am trying (truly I am!) to not be attached to these visions.
I am picturing myself serene, and at peace, and easy, and in grace.
Nothing irritates me.
Nothing worries me.
I have nothing to prove.
I've only to live my best life - be a mindful and attached mother, a good helpmate to my husband, and a thoughtful guest to my hosts.

Do not worry!
Do not worry.
Do not fret over what others are thinking.
Do not take responsibility for others decisions, or quests.
Let others live their life.
And you live yours.

Yes. I'll not worry about appearances. I'll not fret over judgments. I'll be true.
I'll just Be True.

(deep breath)

Well, then.
Here we go......

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