Sunday, July 15, 2007

On Writing - Badly (OR) Piles of Laundry Make For Broken Computers

Regarding the communication problems, and writing.... it really is/was a matter of self-doubt. It was never a matter of if I should write - as my friend said, I would be -quite literally- without my head if I didn't write. Well, my thoughts and contemplations, anyway. I don't know for certain that my head would physically fall off my body (or more likely rot off), but it's certainly possible.

I think my doubt came from just being in a place lately where I found myself cut off from my thoughts.
What I mean is, I've been so busy with first with bc stuff, getting the calendars out, then the pc broke down, then the new notebook came, and I had to program it, put my stuff in, (track down my stuff in the first place since I couldn't transfer files from the dead one to the new one), and throwing birthday parties, vacation, and being amidst general chaos with the outside stuff, I found myself totally disconnected with the inside stuff.
I didn't realize I was disconnected until the angst over little g2 not working - how on earth shall I capture my babes with no camera? Have to use my wits to tell the story instead.... oh wait, turns out I don't have any at the moment.....
At that time I stumbled onto My Typography, and after reading there I came to the conclusion that as a writer I suck. (I'm over it now, as I have reasoned out the why of said... suckment. And, being an unschooler, I have no business thinking that just because I have basically no formal knowlege of how something technically should be composed, doesn't mean that I cannot compose.)

Eventually (as you know) I arrived to this place with the knowledge that first I need to pay better attention to details, warnings, and signs, (and the laundry - I'm conviced that it's all connected), and next that the best way for me to get there, and back to myself, is to be contemplative, mindful, and to live on and with purpose. So that's where I'm going.
So yes, it's (I've) come a full circle.

Blessed Be.

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