I've got a thousand things (er... messes) that I should be tending to, but I wanted to write for a minute before I forget again.
A couple of days ago I posted the definition of appreciation. Not because I imagine that any of us do not know the meaning of the word - just as a reminder to myself and anyone else interested that appreciating something means "to make it more valuable" - it adds value.
If we appreciate our lives, we make it better.
I'm not talking about "I'm so thankful to be alive and healthy blahblahblah", or that we should be appreciative of our troubles and woes - though some people truly are. (Not me - I don't really like troubles, thank you. I'm not much one who finds enjoyment in being motivated by such things.)
It's the small things that make me smile. Like being startled by a plastic giant cricket on the bathroom sink (though I don't bat an eye these days when I come across such things - alive or plastic). Or finding a wizard on the shelf in the refrigerator. Or finding toy treasures stuffed in the drain pipe. Or like today - finding a car that has shot full force into a cheese danish on the coffee table only to find himself spinning his wheels to get out.
I've mentioned these things before, and how if putting up with my ...uh.... lively emotions means that I get to feel happy while rinsing cream cheese out of wheels, then so be it. I'll take the trade.
But lately - the last few days - I've made a shift, I think.
No doubt it started with "I'm done being angry about being angry". But since then I've made lots of joyful discoveries.
This may seem silly - but take the "Spreader of Love" Award that I received from Tara for OLM.
(I hope that if Tara reads this she comes to understand my meaning - I'm going to be really open, here.)
When she first dropped by to say "come get some love" I wasn't sure, but then I went over and saw that she had given me (and only me) the Love award. At first I was like "Wow!" and then I realized that she had the option of giving it to TEN but didn't have many people to give it to! :) So I was like... "Oh!" - But still Very Cool that she thought me.
And then - my next thought was "This is very cool! She said (in giving the award) that I am a spreader of love, and she said that OLM was an unschooling inspiration, and wanted to honor me for it! Totally cool!"
I took it to heart. I don't know if she meant it as such :), but I don't care.
By honoring love inside of me, she inspired me to be more Loving.
And she inspired me to pass on love to others.
It doesn't matter if others get as excited as I about the award. What it meant to me was "I'd like you to know that I acknowledge the love and joy that resides in you." That's huge.
And that is what I wanted to pass on to others. I expect nothing from them. I don't hope for acknowledgment. I don't expect gratitude. I don't expect them to feel honored. I just wanted them to feel love. Joy.
And that's what I'm talking about - things are coming to me in surprising ways, right now.
I have the choice to look at something like a blog award as silly, and meaningless. Or I can appreciate it. I can say "Wow! Thanks!" And feel loved and love from it - and choose to share with others that love and joy.
Another surprising part of this is residing in happiness. My house is a mess right now. No, really, it's A MESS. But I'm not panicking. It's not the end of the world. If anyone comes over (no one ever does), I just won't let them in past the livingroom! :). It will get better today, and probably spotless tomorrow. It's not the first time, and won't be the last, I'm sure.
I am choosing to feel good - to reside in a space where I am creating constantly (or almost constantly) good feelings and joy and God and love and peace. I Want To Feel Good.
In being in this space, I am loving, I am giving, I am serving, I am joyful, I am accepting, I am kind, and not only am I living in the present moment with these feelings, but I am creating for myself these same things in the next moment - as I am consciously choosing how I am living my life (being present) therefore creating more love and joy for my next moments.
So you see - it doesn't matter if it's just a silly ol' award.
In my life, and in my mind and heart it is appreciated and not meaningless, and that is a reminder to me that I get to choose my experiences and my reality.
I get to choose kindness. I get to choose joy. And I get to choose love.
And so I have.