There are even a hundred more thoughts that I would like to write about concerning this particular subject, if you can imagine that.
There are even a few reasons that I decided to write down these thoughts - mainly because I chose to record and profess my intentions.
When I first thought of the word Intent for my 2008 focus, I meant it as "this is what I intend to create for myself". Now my head has shifted, and I am in a space that reflects something closer to "I am creating all the time, and I am shifting my focus to this" sort of thinking.
There are certain things that I know to be true.
Things like I can completely heal myself. And like I create my life and my experiences. And I can serve by giving my life away - which today means acting and responding with kindness and gentleness (mostly just with my children, as I interact mostly with them - but, :), I do get LOTS of practice with them!)
Which reminds me - I heard someone (with similar spiritual philosophies to mine) say the other day - all of these great teachers - Buddha, Saint Frances, Jesus, and many other Saints and spiritual leaders - none of them had children. Ha! :) True enough. It's one thing to be a saint when you can spend your whole life in solitude on a mountain-top meditating (or praying)......
I jest, but still... You get my point. :)
And now moving on before I get struck by lightning....
Today - just today, friends - I was able to make a shift.
I've known and believed the things I do for a long, long time, some of them. I have a sense of universal laws, and understand that what you put your attention on grows, and that kindness comes back to you, and that if you want more of something in your life then it's prudent to give it away.
But somehow there has always been a gap between "I desire this" and "I Am this".
It's like all the lectures and words and books finally sank in, and I moved magically from one to the other. In an instant.
My challenges and desires and requests are not something to pursue - but to Be.
The intention lies in the Being. The mastery lies in the Being. The understanding lies in the Being. The knowing is realized in the Being.
A few times in the last couple of months or so I've written something that I considered putting in my In Pursuit of Gentleness category. I hesitated - it didn't seem quite right. I didn't want to pursue gentleness. That implies that it's evasive and not a part of who I am. I considered changing the category to In Gentleness, just so I can add more posts to it in the future - but I forgot about it until today.
I think that consideration must have been a fore-shadowing of this thought to come.
It isn't about being holy and not myself. It isn't about living in a numbefied pseudo-Zen state. It isn't about being a recluse on a mountain top somewhere in Tibet.
It's about bringing joy into my children's lives. It's about being conscious of serving that joy instead of my own feelings of "but what about me? I was treated badly..." It's about experiencing my infinity now, instead of after I die.
and being joy
and being gratitude
and being beauty
and being abundance
and experiencing God today
and knowing now
and living greatly because I am...
All of these things because I Am.