So quickly on the heels of my last post comes Answer in two forms.
One, in an email from a friend. Who graciously relates a tale of a happening between her boys - a funny tale, that I could plainly see had no disturbing content, but of which, had it happened in my home, in my present state I would have been suspicious.
So! Many thanks to her for sharing her funny tale.
I was able get past "the forest and trees", and come to a place where I was able to separate myself - to see that I am applying adult motives where they do not belong.
The second part of the resolution came in the form of my Little Son.
While I was still melding and pondering and shifting, my children went on blithely with their lives. Innocent, unaffected, and happy.
They left their mother to her Pondering, and continued to giggle merrily and play their games, and watch their television shows.
I could hear them carrying on with their lives, as if nothing had happened.
It's no big thing... just give Mama a minute, she'll come to her senses.
Little Son continues to laugh at his own terrible jokes, fake laughs til his sides hurt, and convinces Maddie that things like "butt" and "Japanese Learning Wizard" are hilarious.
Which had nothing to do with anything.
And how it should have stayed in the first place.