I'm in need of help.
I am hoping for some advice and aid in the name of Parenting A Nekked Child And What Is Perfectly Normal.
(Please be patient with the code words. Don't want anyone stumbling to my blogs looking for something horrid.)
I think I'm extremely suspicious and fearful when it comes to the well-being of my children.
While I really and truly do not suspect that I was harmed as a child, I was raised with uncommon fears of Kidnappers -- all of my nightmares were of being kidnapped.
My mother's greatest fear... made into my own.
I'm worried that I will, or even worse -am- projecting my own parental fears onto my children.
I do not believe (or really seriously question) that anything untoward has happened. There is nothing of a weird or mature nature going on - just things that I see and freak on.
The very basics I can deal with.
Body manipulation, if you will.
I've no problem with that.
I just say "that's for your bedroom when you're alone - not for anyone else to see." Though I don't think my son is interested at the moment. (with tongue in cheek, and in a tone full of levity, I'll say I'm sure that in a few years, that will change!)
But anytime I see anything new, I freak.
Like last night I hear "I'm gonna poo on you!" and Trev laughed, and soon Maddie had stripped off her drawers, and was sitting buck nekked on Trev. "Mom! Maddie's nakxx!"
I got all weird about it.
"That's not okay...", "Inappropriate".... "Not safe to teach Maddie that sitting on people when she's naked is alright..."
And then today Trev started to call for me (because Madd was, again) and then stopped, as he didn't want Maddie to get in trouble because I freaked so badly last night.
The problem is that I freak first and ask questions later.
And I make a much bigger deal out of it than it needs to be.
Because of my own hang-ups, I know.
I try (afterward, when I take the time to actually think) to ask myself "Would this (behavior) be odd in a village full of naked (or semi) people?"
The answer is always No, that I'm just reading more into it because we live in a clothed (and private and maybe suppressed) society.
The problem is, I have no one to ask.
Except, I will be asking my mother, you can bet.
I have friends and family that I could ask, but most of them have two boys, or two girls, or the circumstances don't seem the same.
Though, I must say that Trev isn't a problem, he seems to have reached a maturity level that is just fondly indulgent with Madeleine, not so immature as to be pulled entirely into her games. (Such as hollering, "Mom! Maddie's nakxx again!!")
So I am in desperate need of your help.
Any "I'm familiar with this, and it's normal...", will do, or any great websites or any books on the subject. (I've actually done a search tonight, and feel better about the whole thing, though I was worried about what I'd come up with with the words I was using to search.. Had to make sure "parent" was in there.)
I am absolutely not open to "teach your kids that they have to be ashamed of their bodies and watch them with suspicion and be frightened with everything they do."
Anyone that wants to say as much can swiftly go to hell. And I wish you Godspeed.
But I'll gladly accept any advice that is given with a tone full of love, understanding, and empathy.
Frankly, it's all I can handle.