Sunday, November 09, 2008

sacred life sunday: choice

This picture represents choice for me. I have the choice - :) - to look out this window and be irritated at all the chaos I see; or I can choose to tidy up the patio so that my view is more harmonious. (Oh, it's tidy, now, Friends.)

When I went for my walk the other morning - trying to make some sense out of my emotional... craziness... there were a few things running through my head.
Thay's words, as I mentioned.
And Hafiz's poem - which reminded me that it's a blessed being who can embrace the seemingly unfortunate occurrences as well as the pretty ones. As we all know, what first appears to be a wicked ditch can turn out to be a happy shortcut to where we want to go.
Along with those Words Of Wisdom For The Day, I was thinking of other things, too.
Like "If you want harmony, really want harmony, Steph, then you have to give it. You have to create it, nurture it, give it, be it, and sustain it."
Be the change.
I came to a place during that walk when it felt like I was talking (er, thinking) about two different things, though.

Oddly enough, since then, I've been really calm and at ease.
I haven't done anything.
I haven't struggled, or planned, or meditated on changing my heart/mindset - nothing like that.
It's just been.

Maybe it's that I gave myself permission to feel whatever I had to feel, and for that moment (as I had been in a pretty wicked cycle of irritation) that's all it took.
Acceptance - however momentary, of whatever needed to Be.


Today, I checked in to a place I like to go, Christine Kane's blog.
What I found - that I had missed until now, when I was ready for it- was her speaking of Creating. Not only creating (as in creating harmony) but creating versus Reacting. Ha!

Creating is You creating your life, consciously making your choices, taking responsibility. Reacting, is, of course, reacting to what is happening around you - not taking responsibility for being the Creator, and looking to others to blame for your reality.
I know it.
I really do.
I have known it, I know it still, I feel it, I see it, I accept it... and now I re-member it. Yet again.

So now I've found a very specific spot to sit for a spell between the two.
Riding things through - emotions and upsets, without judging or condemning them; and redirecting my mind-- re-membering that if I am Reacting, then I am not consciously Creating something better for myself the next time.

It's a good thing [waves hand over head] there's a whole Infinity out there.
Because it sure is taking me a while to get this stuff.


piscesgrrl said...

I haven't checked in for a while (on ANYone's blog, lest you feel slighted), but I can see now why it's good that I do. I need more of these words. I've been in a slump, a fog, and emotional tailspin. Lots to process. Keep writing! Good stuff.

Stephanie S. said...

Hey there.
I did wonder, :), so thanks for saying so!

Anonymous said...

yep! be the change. something j reminded me of the other day. i told him he was bullying his brother and that that feels bad because as he could see his little brother was crying. j turned to me and screamed "i know it feels bad! because you do it to me!"
BAM!!! did he ever stop me in my tracks. so after a long talk and lots of tears i'm working on being the change.

nice post.

Julie said...

That's been my mantra the last few weeks "be the change I wish to see in my children", and remarkably, it's been working out wonderfully. I think like you mentioned, "just be", it's so simple, yet sometimes so hard.

I also took to heart the book Damek and I have been enjoying recently 'A Pebble For My Pocket' and every morning put a pebble in my pocket and everytime I start to feel emotional I put my hand on it and think "how do I want to help this situation?" or think "I know I am angry, I can take care of my anger" (like the book suggests), love it, love it, love it! I am in control of myself, we are all in control of our own bodies (what I am constantly telling my kids), and I need to show it and be a model and I'm going to do dammit!:)

I could go on and on, but Kyan is beckoning from the "nook" and has a stack of books, so off I go:)

singingfamily said...

thanks for that reminder. Always good to be reminded. I have that tee shirt "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Maybe I should wear it more, not only on my body but in my heart.