Thursday, July 19, 2007

Being Unconditional

Amanda on Soule Mama said something yesterday that I really loved, and found a lot of comfort in.
It was what I had been thinking and practicing up until the last few days, only I hadn't really noticed it.
Anyway, she said:
I'm not really a fan of the 'how to' parenting books. I've never found a whole lot helpful in those. I think it's that many of them focus on the 'act' of parenting and not the 'heart' of parenting. The action without heart just doesn't really work for me. The hard "work" of being a Mama (for me) doesn't come from the structure of our home or the discipline 'method' we use or any of those actions, but rather on the inner work that we do to be the kind of parent we want to be.

I think this is where I'm at. Remember how I said not too long ago that I wasn't reading much on boards or any books, just reading a few blogs, and figuring it out on my own?
It relates to this.
It goes back to (once again) being mindful. And heartful, as the case may be. It's paying attention, truly, and letting my heart guide me, and letting my little one guide me, to show me what they need from me in that moment.
And hopefully in any critical moments, I will be in tuned enough on a regular basis that I'll be able to recognize when something is going awry, or when my child needs special help.
I know them, after all.

I don't suppose the answer is Out There, after all. And it's not even necessarily in my own head or heart. I believe it will be found in the moment. If I'm paying proper attention, it will be found in my child's face.

That's not to say that I shan't be very careful about offering praise for living a life well lived, as I can see that's not a good idea - I am too fond of it myself - but that I'll just have to follow my heart and my child's lead.
We are friends. Truly friends. And becoming better friends all the time (with Trev, Maddie is still very young.)
I think that I can trust our relationship, and trust our hearts to show us the way.

In the meantime, I'll just not fret about what is happily acknowledged, and what might be boasting. It's never false, I don't operate that way, and if it's a true celebration of living our lives, then I'll not be denying the joy.

correction: I've ammended this post. I often say "you" in a hypothetical way, but I don't mean to be preaching, just talking to myself. So I've ammended it in this post to "me" and "my".
ie "Letting your heart guide you" has been ammended to "my heart".

No comments: