The obvious answer is it's time to get really clear about what it is that I want. Now that a lot of the debris is out of the way.
Which has been the reason behind all these scattered thoughts, explorations of feelings, and examinations of patterns.
To come to a place of clarity.
In Pursuit of Gentleness.
Gentleness is absolutely something I want to claim for myself.
Patience, I absolutely believe, and tolerance, are an imperative part of that.
When I first began the quest, somehow just by having it in my mind that I wanted to make kindness and gentleness a priority I was able to do it.
It just came.
The keys were letting go of the dreaded agenda, and trusting the children to work out their problems for themselves.
Guess both of those would come down to letting go of control, wouldn't they?
Not in a "don't play with that that way, it's wrong" sort of way - which I never do, but in a "let's keep the peace of the household (and my head)" sort of way.
My peace of mind is conditional.
That's what I need to change. I need to actively do things (as Melissia suggested) that will help me to maintain a healthy environment for tolerance to flourish.
Evie's right too, intention is very important to me. The trouble is that I get side-tracked, and pretty soon I'm focused on something else - backing up a couple of steps, instead of remaining true to the course. (ie fixing a mistake, or wondering at my frustration instead of dismissing it and working on the present. Moving backwards.)
The keys will be to make sure that I have time in the morning to do what I need to do (think in quiet).
Be unattached to whatever I am doing - be okay with the notion that I can come back to it later.
Be tolerant of my emotions if I feel tense or stressed.
Remember that my children are individuals, and so is our family dynamic. (I'll go more into this one later.) Be accepting of it!
Be aware of ways to support/encourage a healthy and happy environment throughout the day.
Remember to be in pursuit of Gentleness.