Just a quick word...

Don't know if you've noticed, but here and on OLM I put in a new ring.
They're one and the same, but two different signs. On OLM it's "Small is Beautiful", and here it's "Passionate Blog."
The premise (click on it to see exactly what it's about) is about honoring stories, and for me finding magic in the small stuff.
Passionate also means for me writing what I live and believe (and fear and mess up sometimes) and not worrying so much about how well and widely my words and thoughts will be recieved. I live a lot of ways that are not mainstream, and rather than be concerned with "how many people will judge me if I say this?" I'd rather speak my Truth honestly and openly.
Passionate Blog reminds me to do that.
Anyway - wanted to let you know what I was thinking when I signed up for those.
Here's to Truth!....

thoughts for the new year

I mentioned that I was contemplating what my word/thought for the new year would be.
What, exactly my intent would be for the coming year.
Aaaah. There you have it, then.

Intent.
It includes, for me, all of the other words I mentioned that resonate with me.
Magic, gentleness, presence, abundance, graciousness, mindfulness.

For a minute I contemplanted Nurture, but that feels like a second or third step on this particular evolutionary trail - it seems that first and foremost I am called to practice Intent.

The trick will be to not get too lost in the hundreds of things that factor into that intent. (And therefore forget about the intent itself.)

At first I thought that it was sort of silly uninspired - to choose only one word for an entire year - but that one one can be so powerful and guiding in so many areas of your life.

Take Listen.
I don't mean to ruin the word for anyone - ie impose my own thoughts upon it- but bear with me.
Listen can mean pay attention to others around you.
It can mean be in tune with nature.
It can mean being intuitive.
It can mean really listening to your spouse.
Your children.
Your friends.
Your loved ones.
It can mean to be quiet and be still.
To listen within.
Listen to your heart.
Your body.
Your spirit.
The birds song, the whisper on the wind, the song on the radio, the call of the wild.

There are hundreds of things - thoughts and feelings that one powerful (resonating) word can evoke.

Mine, then, is intent.
Tto get really clear then - here are the laws of intention for me.
I've mentioned this posting in my room downstairs more than once (it comes from Dr. Wayne Dyer).
It bears repeating, I love it so.

What this one word says to me (implementing these seven tools) is to pay attention to what I am doing. Be mindful. Be present. It includes the sublime - being aware of the quests of my spirit; as well as the more practical -be engaged in my conversations with my children, my interactions with our dog, being conscious of either stepping over (or on) or picking up something that might best be put away, practicing care with the things and people around me.
Noticing if/when my actions are resonating best and highest with Whom I Want To Be, and how I want to represent myself and my ideals.
It means being authentic.
It means deliberateness.
It means living while being fully engaged.

A very powerful idea, then.
Indeed, for me a word to live by.

(this post relates to New Year and New Resolve.)

making the grade: addendum

I don't think that I made it clear that I wasn't questioning Trev out of any sense of "let's see how you measure up". If anything, I think maybe I was testing the system, to see what relevance it had to real life.
When I said "so then we'll cover contintents this year" what I meant was according to the system (one that I do not hold in very high regard, or consider to be the best judge of my children's or my own requisite learning) we just have the one thing to learn.
Should they have indicated (they may have, I didn't read every last bit of the requirements) that we were falling short, I would not have been in the least concerned.

We are the better judges of our lives and minds, of course.

Shouting Out (or) Whispering on the Wind

You get to decide.

Here's the thing - for a couple of months now I've been thinking that I want to give awards to blogs that I love and friends that I've met.
[grin] Really arrogant of me, I know - but there you have it.

There are a few folks that I read and keep up with that I don't have listed in my sidebars here and on OLM.
This one has lots more, but that's because this one encompasses more than unschoolers.
Anway - this is my award ceremony.
Well, not really, but I'd like to say "Thank You" and "You Inspire Me" to the following people...
(Most of these folks -er, women- I have discovered through comments and the Unschooler's Ring. I am forever grateful for both.)

Evie. (Of The Road Less Traveled) Aaaaw, Evie. I feel like we're waving from a distance, lately. Busybusybusy. I miss you terribly, and you mean so much to me. xxoo

M of Stuff About the Duffs. M always leaves thoughtful comments, and is so gracious, sweet, and considerate - we've managed to find similar things and thoughts and feelings while being mightily different at the same time. I truly appreciate your graciuosness, M.

Laura, Pisces Grrrl of Wistful Wanderlust - Laura is the Horizon - and what/whom I look to when folks say "sure you Unschool NOW, your children are babies...." Not so. It can and will be done into completion. Laura often shows me the way. Much love to you.

SA over at Child's Play - who alternatively inspires with her children's intellect and makes me howl - thanks so much for both! - Oh! And let's not forget that she and her children are World Travelers - and give me a peek into what's out there in the Wide Blue Yonder!

Marin of Eye Candy is a relatively new friend who is the Mama of a little boy who I'm gonna eat one of these days. Marin learns and stretches and looks inside herself and lets us know what she finds. I appreciate much her candor.

Sheri hails from My So-Called Homeschool, and reminds me of Universal Truths and Enlightenment, along with what Mamahood means, and I find much to appreciate in her writings.

MamaP of My Total Perspective Vortex often inspires and challenges me to look even deeper into an idea or thought - and will even go so far as explore or explode it with me. That means much to me. You and your vortex are appreciated.

Danette of Wild and Free - a new friend who is bravely testing the waters of unschooling - and managing to find solid footing. Danette reminds me that it's alright to travel however necessary my own path. I thank her for that.

Beverly of Homeschool Image. Who is always careful to pop in to say "Hey" every once-in-a-while, and who always impresses me with her comments on other's blogs. As well as with tales of her own of course!

Pichinde of The Napping House - formerly of Granola Among Frosted Flakes (both titles are great, don't you think?) - a brand new acquaintance who apparently likes OLM cause I'm tricky! Er - she said "has lots of great ideas". Me? Huh. Imagine that. Oh! And she also says (graciously) that my hundreds of grainy pictures (because I refuse to use the flash) don't bore her! :)!
Really - it's always pretty great to run across folks that you can relate to - which I have done here, with hers, I think, and I am thankful for her blog!

Kimba of Kimbalicious - Mostly 'cause she makes me scratch my head and ask "What?!?" It's imperative that I step out of my regular brain and try to catapult myself onto her planet from time to time. Just to challenge myself!!

Lena of The Morgan Follies - whom I met through my sister's blog - she is sweet enough to pop in every once-in-a-while to cheer me on, and to make my day. Thanks, Lena!! In her spare time she nourishes five children....

Madeline of Barn Raising who regularly shares tales of her two young Princes, as well as her significantly larger Belgium Gentelemen Farmer Prince who is her husband. Lots of interesting stories of their lives to be read on her blog.

T of Heartschooling thinks and feels much as I do - how could I not appreciate that???

Stephanie of Learning Through Living - [grin] She is the reason I've taken to signing off as Steph S.! It so happens that she visits the same places I do - but I'll forgive her for having my name as she visits my blog, too! :) Really - she and I are different in a number of ways, but I enjoy her grit and the insight into her perspective.

Now we come to my sister Kim of Chez Nous In Maine - who has always (ahem - except for lately!) been a great supporter and friend. I guess she's busy with those twelve children of hers. sheesh. Seein's how her dh is back in school again full time plus.... I love her and her funny stories. Even the wicked one that she told of my mom the other day and then erased.... :) heehee

Last but not least are The Mama's - my local support system.

There's Aubrey -who blogs at Band of Hooligans - who I love to tease mercilessly, and who has so much insight and wisdom and is a breath of fresh air.

Julie of Lerend Zonder School - who is all that is mildness and gentleness.

Melissia of Sweet Succulent Life - who has threatened to take down her blog! - I most sincerely hope that she does not - who so often speaks my own thoughts and feelings, and always understands what I'm trying to say.

Teri - the Fairy Queen Mother who is all freckles and sunshine and sweetness and the epitomy of Mamahood. Oh - she can be found at Joyful Liberation.

Stephanie O who writes a few snippets at Milestone Minutiae has always been a great CheerLeader - as I've told her more than once - and I appreciate her support and straight head!

I am a far better person to have these souls inspire me and share their stories and wisdom.

You all mean so much to me.
Blessed Be Friends.

New Year and a New Resolve

I've mentioned before that while I am really fond of new beginnings - cherish and relish them, even - I don't make New Year's Resolutions.
It's too discouraging - watching the souls of the world's zest and happiness diminish as they realize they've let themselves down. Again.
I'd rather not contribute to it.

Apparently I'm not the only one.
Today I visited a blog in my sidebar - haven't been there in months - and read a really great post by Cristine Kane about just this topic.
She has an idea to choose a word to live by for the year.

Words that speak to me are:
magic
gentleness
intention
presence
abundance
graciousness
refinement

If you'd care to scoot on over to read it - I promise you'll be inspired - I'd love to discuss ideas with you!
I'm very excited about this - and I hope I can settle on something quickly!
Blessed Be.

making the grade

Today I've been full of ennui.
Wanting ...... something!
A bit of zing, if you will.
So I went in search of what would fulfill my needs and banish the doldrums.
I just needed something to recognize as magic.
Something impressive.
I'm far enough along that I know that I don't have the right to expect my children to fulfill my personal needs.
Truly!
Still....
I followed them around for a while.
For some reason I remembered Mama P saying something about how Lil Bug experiences the joys of being tested by strangers and skeptics of homeschooling. No matter that she knows most her letters, numbers, colors, etc - and is three. Three.
Bah!

A few minutes after that I ran into a new (for me) blog that said something about her (unschooled) first grader knew all -plus!- what he/she was sposed to. I would link the post, but damned if I can find it now. I'll correct it when I do.

Anyway.
Aside from my disbeliefs in "making the grade", and my wanting to burn the book "What Your Kindergartner Needs To Know" a few months ago - I checked out what Those In The Know thought my child Should Be Learning/Should Know.

Not because I was feeling eager for acceptance, or seeking to feel justified in my/our Unschooling Ways, you understand - I'm not exactly sure why - 0ther than I was curious. (wicked, wicked grin) Maybe I was looking for something to get riled about!

Here's where I went - and where I've been before - in Trev's PreSchool days.
Here's parts of our conversation, and my thoughts.

First Grade Content Core (anyone asleep yet?)
Practice appropriate personal hygiene (e.g., bathe, wash hands, clean clothes).
Me: Trev. D'you bathe? Wash your hands?
Trev: Of course.
Check.

Describe the benefits of eating a variety of nutritious foods.
Me: D'you eat lots of different kinds of foods?
Trev: Yes, Mom
I went the extra mile on this one - what's protein for? What are carbs good for? What are veggies for??
Your brain - energy - your eyesight, et al.
Check.

Describe the benefits of physical activity.
Me: D'you run? Jump? Dance?
Psh.

Describe substances that are helpful and harmful to the body.
We'll skip that one for now. Mighty full of opinions is that one.

Practice basic safety and identify hazards.
Me: D'you watch out for cars? Practice safety?
Trev: Yes, Mother.

Participate daily in short periods of physical activity that require exertion (e.g., one to three* minutes of walking, jogging, jump roping).
Again - psh.

Perform fundamental locomotor (e.g., skip, gallop, run) and nonlocomotor (twist, stretch, balance) skills with mature form.
Same.

Develop manipulative skills (e.g., cut, glue, throw, catch, kick, strike).
Me: D'you cut? glue? throw? catch? kick?
Trev: Yes.
Hit?
No.
Quite right.

Create and perform unique dance movements and sequences that strengthen skills while demonstrating personal and spatial awareness.
Well - not sure what this means - I chose a flat opal for my wedding ring because a diamond that poked out off my hand just wasn't practical - I'm forever knocking my hand against a wall because I misjudge..... So we'll skip it.

Recognize and express feelings in a variety of ways (e.g., draw, paint, tell stories, dance, sing). Express how colors, values, and sizes have been controlled in artworks to create mood, tell stories, or celebrate events.
Sing a melody independently, with developing accuracy and a natural voice that is free from strain.
Create simple rhythm, movement, and melody patterns with body percussion and instruments.
Check check check. Oh- check.


Explain how family members support each other.
Me: D'we support each other? Look out for eachother?

Describe tasks at home and school.
Well - we can skip that one.

Explain how families change over time.
Our family doesn't change, he said. Since I'm not certain of the question, and I agree, I say "check." Trev knows he may desire to move out someday, and have a wife (or not), so I figure we've got it covered.

Recognize that choices have consequences which affect self, peers, and family.
Me: Decisions have consequences, Bub?
Check.

Describe behaviors that initiate and maintain friendships.
Me: If you wanted to be friends with and meet someone, what would you do?
Not a problem.

Practice democratic processes ie take turns, listen to others, share ideas
Describe physical features surrounding the home, school, and community.
Identify changes in the school and neighborhood over time.
Identify and use technology in your home, school, and community (e.g., computer, TV, radio).
Show respect for state and national symbols and patriotic traditions; recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Objective Express relationships in a variety of ways.
Er - No. NO. No demanded allegiances in this house. Not a part of who we are.

Describe traditions, music, dances, artwork, poems, rhymes, and stories that distinguish cultures.
Develop dramatic storytelling skills through flexibility in movement and voice, accurate sequencing, and listening and responding to others.

Observe and draw pictures of plants.
Draw? Well, No. Surely Grow Your Own Plants and Vegetables counts for something, though.
Compare seeds of plants and describe ways they may be carried through the environment (e.g., wind, water, animals).
Observe and describe plants as they grow from seeds.

On and on it goes until

Use map skills to identify features of the neighborhood and community.
Create representations that show size relationships among objects of the home, classroom, school, or playground.
Identify map and globe symbols (e.g., cardinal directions, compass rose, mountains, rivers, lakes).
Locate continents and oceans on a map or globe (i.e., North America, Antarctica, Australia, Pacific Ocean, Atlantic Ocean).

So we got out the globe. Brought it from that table to this table. Maddie seeks out Oklahoma (and Papa) right away.
Shrug. So we need to figure out oceans and continents sometime in the next several months. Is this where I ask to what eon or era they are referring???
Fine - we need to talk about oceans and continents more in the next few months.

Next.
Language Arts.

Identify specific purpose(s) for listening (e.g., to gain information, to be entertained).
Listen and demonstrate understanding by responding appropriately (e.g., follow multiple-step directions, restate, clarify, question).
Speak clearly and audibly with expression in communicating ideas.
Speak in complete sentences.

Okay. Now I'm asleep.
I'm starting to see a theme here....

Identify specific purpose(s) for viewing media (i.e., to identify main idea and details, to gain information, distinguish between fiction/nonfiction).
Use a variety of formats (e.g., show and tell, drama, sharing of books and personal writings, choral readings, informational reports, retelling experiences and stories in sequence) in presenting with various forms of media.

...

Relate prior knowledge to make connections to text (e.g., text to text, text to self, text to world). Ask questions about text read aloud and independently.
Make predictions using picture clues, title, text, and/or prior knowledge.
Make inferences and draw conclusions from text.
Identify topic/main idea from text noting details.
Retell using important ideas/events and supporting details in sequence.
Compile information from text.

Identify beginning, middle, and end; characters; setting; problem/resolution.
Identify different genres: nursery rhymes, fairy tales, poems, realistic fiction, fantasy, fables.
Identify information from pictures, captions, and diagrams.
Identify multiple facts in grade level informational text.
Locate facts from informational texts (e.g., picture books, grade level informational books).

Doh. It just gets worse and worse!

Here's the problem, as I see it.
Maybe the EA - state or national, you choose - has such a problem with home educator's because we are not as informed as they are about such things.
Maybe they figure if we don't call a lesson "Identify beginning, middle, and end; characters; setting; problem/resolution" then we cannot possibly fathom the importance of such a thing - much less judge if our child is comprehending a favorite story, able to follow along, anticipate what may happen in the end, or recognize that the particular end was the same as yesterday and the day before - and recognize that the characters are even familiar.
It's all I can figure.

Some of us that live an unschooling life take it even further and say that school is imitating life - that a life well lived will teach and show you the way to your own fulfillment.

It's a sort of cross-roads, I guess.
We think their way (The One True Way) is unnecessary and just not absolute, they think our ways are subpar. I'm not sure why.
And I don't really care, frankly.

My son doesn't know the word "syllable".
If I tried to explain it to his six-year-old head, and said "it's a matter of seperating the segments of sounds at particular points" he would.... go. (grin) maybe I'd never even find him again!
But when he wants to enunciate - what does he do but just that. My. Name. Is. Trev- El- YN!" He'll say when he's tired of being teased and tormented.
Syllables.

I guess what it comes down to is no matter what you call it - or don't call it - if it's important, and useful, you'll learn it. You'll get it.
You'll seek it out.
You'll question, dissect, turn it upside-down, stomp on it, maybe call it stupid, love it or hate it. If it matters.
If it suits you to do so.
Do others really care How you know it?
Or When you first knew it?

The only relevance these questions have is to you and your own sense of fulfillment.

I still think we're (or at the very least my children) far better off discovering such things in our/their own time than according to when another deems appropriate - for whatever (read: arbitrary) reason.

If given sovereignty, our own minds and spirit always serve us well.
I'll never believe that there is a truer way.


addendum: I'm adding to this that though I was questioning him - quizzing him- it was done in fun and with silliness - we were laughing and singing "I loooooove you...." in silly voices, and dancing, and wiggling - I wasn't bombarding him with "This Is A Test".
Do you eat?
Do you run?
Do you sing?
That sort of thing. :)

home

I've been thinkin' on this one for a few days now, but haven't had the time (or haven't been willing to give that precious commodity up) to write these thoughts down.

I heard a month or so ago someone say something like "Everyone's favorite place in the world is home." Maybe it was even in a song, I'm not sure.

Coincidentally, Trev asked me a few days later where my favorite place in the world was. "Home" I said.

I wasn't copying. It was the truth.

This led me to considering the topic, and the why's of it, for me.

It's related to the whole family thing. Grit.

Family is supposed to be family.

That doesn't mean that you should put up with them no matter their abuses. It means that they (are supposed to) have your back - no matter what. Be on your side. Watch out for you and protect you.

It means that no matter how much shit they give you - in the name of teasing or razzing or calling your bluff - they will never put up with the same from an outsider.

They know you. They love you. They accept you.

Tis the same with home.

Home accepts all aspects of Us. The good, the bad, the ugly. The mundane. The ordinary. The boring, the hypocritical, the lofty, the proud, the saint and the sinner. It's so terribly obvious, and a rather elementary thought.

My home - my house - accepts me and mine.

My home embraces me.

My home loves me when I'm messy, and even when I'm mean.

My home expands and swells with outrageous energy currents, and shrinks down to lock us all in safely when we feel the need to be tucked in.

It breathes our energy.

It soaks us in.

It sucks us in, sometimes.

It loves me even when I abuse it. When I stomp on it. When I damn it. When I crawl into its corners to hide and cry.

It's silly, I know.

But I cannot help but to have noticed the beauty of its unconditional acceptance in these last couple of weeks.

My home only asks that we truly Live here. And love. And if we can learn so that it bears witness - that's a bonus.

(shrug)

It loves for us to Be Ourselves. It's a wondrous thing to feel so cherished and welcomed and invited to be our complete and total selves.

Without recriminations.

Without judgment.

Protected always.

Loved always.

Encouraged to be Us, in All Ways.

Everyone should feel so accepted and loved.

Cherished.

I am so very thankful to have this place I call Home.

happiness runs

I am feeling so marvelously content and happy and joyful and peaceful.

Ive wanted to write so many times lately, but I can't shop for delicious goodies and scrub counters while sharing these thoughts and feelings.

The feelings of peace and contentment are so remarkable - much due to happy Christmas tidings, probably, but also just... because. I feel blessed, and loved, and feel a strong sense of All Is Right With The World.

I hope every one of you knows exactly what I mean.

Blessed Be, Friends.
Much love to You and Yours.

Lost in Space

I was wondering (yes, I'm procrastinating...) what that muppet intro was.... Lost In Space.... no, that's not right.... - Pigs...In...Space! Yes... that's it!
That's me.
Well, I'm not a pig. (though I resemble Miss Piggy from time to time - when she's in her Hiiiii-YA mode....)
But I definitely feel a bit muppetish and lost in cartoony land - as well as lost - only it's cyber space. Only it's not necessarily online - maybe it's lost in circuitry and files and programs and smtp codes and pop codes and individual personalized desktops and files and log-offs andandand...

You see what I've become.
yes, friends.
I have lost my mind.

Let me just vent for a moment - especially since I had planned to not get on AT ALL today - as I had other things that were demanding my time - and yet here I still am.
It went something like just let me fix this one more snafu with the camera program.....
And so here I am at 3:54 pm. On the third/fourth day.
Not showered.
again.
not done shopping.
again.
Trev just now comes in and says "I think we should start decorating our tree today."
Damn.
Oh yeah. Forgot about that.
"I'm sure" he continues "that we're going to have a very blue Christmas with a tree that's not decorated."
Oh. How did he know of a Blue Chirstmas?
Maddie comes complaining that the snowman is melted.
Well - least that's not my fault.

Sigh.
Maybe I'll put up a stream or two of lights (instead of the usual twelve), get out the (next) three boxes of candy canes, the home made ornaments and invite them to put whatever they'd like on the tree.
Would that work?
Can you put Star Wars toys and horsies and small stuffed animals and legos and childhood treasures on a Christmas tree?
Hmmm...

Wouldn't that be something.
That would be so unlike me...

Good Grief - it's December 20th

I said something to Eric yesterday about "I think it's that I have to have my head organized, and then if that's fixed, then I can be more efficient on the outside."

He said he was the opposite.

He needs stuff on the outside organized.

Maybe he said that because the house is still .... um.... well, messy.

Not disastrous, mind you - just disorganized.

I've been messing with the new computer for two and a half days - running between the three of them back and forth trying to get them organized. You always know a new one is gonnna be a lot of work, but you forget how aggravating it can be. Least I did.

But I think we're pretty good, now.

Yesterday I got up (from pc's) to find this (that would be all of my $10 soaps and conditioners and shampoos - along with toilet paper draped over the faucet, of course)

and this.

Hmm.

Guess that's a red flag that if I don't wrap it up I'm gonna find myself in a bi-hi-hig (literal) mess, and we don't want any freak outs from me, God knows.

Today is for organizing the outside, then.

I'm off!

disconnected

So!
Well, first - my phone line is dead. deaddeaddead.
Doh! evidently I forgot to pay the bill!
Shame on them for not letting me know I was in eminent danger of being shut off!
So I connected on the notebook and payed the bill.
(Turns out the phone line is just messed up - and they'll be out some time tomorrow! Hmmph. Shame on them again. If it's my fault, that's one thing - but if it's theirs - hmmph! I say!)
New desktop pc comes.
Turns out - the dang thing does not know A Thing about me or my personal preferences!
What?
Did they send me the wrong one, then?
Why don't we have this magical mojo going - you know - where it knows where and how I want to go even before I instruct it??? That's how little notebook works....
Hmmph!

Turns out I even had to shut if off and restart it!
I'll let you know how it goes.
Hopefully we'll be able to reconcile very, very soon!
Now I'm off to kiss and make up....

panicing

aack!
It seems like I have so much to do!
Well, considering I have not even dug my lights out of the garage yet for the tree, I am probably pretty justified in feeling a bit harried! :)

Madd wants a party, as I said. It started with Grammy last week - I picked them up (I had been at work) and Grammy was going to a party, and Madd was broken hearted because she couldn't go with her. So a few days later she said she wanted a party. I said that we'd have a tea party. (Course, I got lots of ideas in my head about lace gloves and fancy hats on teddy bears, but knowing Madd, she'd just strip them all to their bones, and say "she doesn't like that!" - All her dolls are nekked.

Lights and decorations on the tree.
Clean house.
Clean house.
Popcorn and rosehips garland for the tiny tree.
Shadow puppets for the babes and nieces.
Clean house.
Felt dolls for the nieces.
Beaded ornaments for the sisters and mother.
Clean house!
Holiday goodies.
More fudge. (My babes ate the last batch in one day!)
What else?
Oh yes - Mama's night (tomorrow). - and let's not forget that I'm supposed to Make A Gift for that one!!!
Tea Party at Julie's (maybe we can just attach ourselves to That star) on Monday.
New computer coming on Monday - they tried to deliver it on Friday - who knew it would be so fast?- but we were shoppingshoppingshopping.
Time to play with and set up new desktop pc - you know it's a Dell, don't you??? (you wouldn't believe how much that old HippyD/Dino aggravates me! And Dell had a pretty good deal.....)
Solstice coming!
Gotta finish Maddie's solstice present - her book with backgrounds for her sticker pages. (which will have to be done on old pc, due to the printer's cable not being USB.... :/
Solstice family event - gifts and fire, and whatever else.
Monday night at the library is Owl Moon - a special Solstice story time that I"d like to attend....
There is also a Goddess Solstice dance recital that I'd like to attend on Friday afternoon...
Lights at Temple Square (the World Class lights I mentioned before)
Oh - and let's not forget that I absolutely Must! Clean. My. House. !!!
Aaaaaargh!
JUUUUUUU-DYYYY!

Did I tell you that we had a plumbing problem for several days?
Turns out it was Yet Another washcloth down the drain.
Eric - the Darling- took off the drum trap and snaked the (bathtub) pipe for me - usually that sort of thing is my department - but Honest to God, I just don't have the time! (as I told him in no uncertain terms!!!)


disclaimer - Please do not fear for me and my children - I'm not in any danger of having a stroke or waving an axe over my head - just feeling very behind and getting swept up in the hustle and bustle!
I'll be sure to post a peaceful post when I have a minute!
And here, now - If I could spell the Lone Ranger's du-del-unt, du-del-unt, du-del-unt-dunt-dunt song, I would....
:)
Hope everyone's Holly Jolly....
oh - note to self... be sure to trim off some of that glorious Holly at Grammy's house when you pick up the children tonight.....

vroom

Last night Maddie said she wanted a party.
So we have a tea party (with dolls) planned for to today!
I have so much to do to make up for yesterday's sluggishness. Good thing I'm full of vroom today.
Sterile kitchen (we've spent the last several days in the kitchen, it's still not clean), dress up for a party, lights and decorations on the tree.... possibly shopping...
phew!
What a day I have planned.
Wish me luck.....
(waves over her shoulder as she runs off......)

Mothering... Naturally (Part III)

Here's where I'm trying to get to:
The point is not to play nicey-nice, but be my most authentic self. That self being accepting, nonjudging, allowing for room from growth and mistakes, and supporting as best I can who they are.
That goes for my self, children, my friends (not something I have a problem with, usually) and my own family. My mother comes to mind.
If it is clear that I am being true to myself - speaking in my ordinary tones, and being relaxed and Me, then maybe I gain credibility with others, and they may choose to represent themselves more authentically, also. (All of us truly being creatures of love and goodness.)
It's like "Kindness, pass it on."
But always done authentically.

Here's an example.
We're at Christmas Dinner (I'm making this up) and the children are running and my mother starts to lose it, going off in her screaming shrill way. (not making that part up.)
I can just stop what I"m doing, and say, "Hey, guys, let's go outside and practice throwing snowballs at something!"
Now, knowing my mother, she will say something like "What are you going to throw snowballs at?" in a complaining sort of way, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
What I would usually (always in the past) do is say "Mom - good grief, they're children, it's Christmas, and they're excited!" and she would say something like "I know, but...." and I would get mad.

If she goes off on my children, "Don't touch that, you'll break it!" I can say something like "Do you really want to see it up close, Bud?" and to her "Is it okay if we touch it if we're really careful? We'll put it back just how you have it." And she can say yes, or no. But maybe in my coming from a different place, (than getting mad that she assumed if he touched it it would just automatically break) she will be able to find a better way to express herself. - That 'better' being more information, and more expressive of her real concerns.
(shrug.) Maybe not.
Maybe she will choose to always go her same way, never even bothering to notice that there is one more peaceful and helpful. But that will be her choice, of course. She chooses her life.
I wonder, though, if when she's hollering at a child (mine, most likely) if I go in, and say, "Hey, Bub," (which I often do) "do you need help communicating with Grammy?" if she will come to a better understanding, and see that there is a different way to communicate - one in which my children respond infinitely better.

I believe that if I am careful to represent myself as Me, and not one who is trying to be something else (trying on cloaks that don't fit, saying words in a way that my family has never heard from me), and can practice the same loving acceptance of Others, then I and my actions are credible - instead of just appearing as one who lets her kids do and say anything, or "letting them run wild". If everyone is afforded that same respect, then how can they deny it?

The means (and even the end) of these actions is not to persuade others to behave as I am, or even for them to notice that there is a different way.
The point is to grow myself, and be more accepting of others as they are.
I think being myself and being more mindful of these practices and intent shall help me greatly to become what it is I'd best like to Be.
Naturally.

slow

Today I've been soooo low energy.

I had lots of things I wanted to get done, but I don't think I've accomplished even one of them.
Maddie said a thousand funny and brilliant things today, from naming letters to painting Tigger's tail black (named correctly) to I'm painting pasta! and then Cookies! and And now more cookies!
I wasn't quick enough or bright enough to write them down, however.

I think maybe I'll just write this one off, and try to get a good night's sleep.
Is it okay to get ready for bed at 6:41pm???
Right after I help Maddie play Pooh on the pc....

Mothering... Naturally (Part II)

When I said "Not that our friend's observation had merit, of course!, just Should I ever speak to him, again? :)" I didn't mean that, really.
I will certainly speak to our friend again, and love him even. I understand his thinking, even if it is very different from our (Eric's and mine) own.
Trev being called such a name is ridiculous, and Eric didn't even consider that it had merit. He spends every moment at home playing with our children. He is a very active and hands on father. It's not in question.
Trev being emotional isn't, either, for along with that comes being extremely communicative and caring.
The only thing I can think of that might need attention in this scenario is to help my children, if I can, look for the things that are enjoyable in the moment, and not be so set upon a particular outcome.

What does come to my mind - in the question of Mothering Naturally - is what exactly, does that mean?

I've found lately that I can come to an understanding just by paying attention to my own thoughts and working through them. Again - a natural (for me) process.
That's where Soule Mama's comment came in so beautifully for me - it's almost like it gave me permission to not read All The Parenting Books On The Planet and attempt to apply all their rules and suggestions into my life and interactions. Just reminded me to Be Present.
In being present I'll be guided and find my answers.

So.
Where should (again, for me and my children) the protection end and begin?
When is it okay for the world to be a teacher?
For me a lot of this can be answered by just knowing that I have no desire to control my children's world or the people in it. (Aside from keeping them physically and emotionally healthy and safe, of course.)
And if I consider our lives - as a family, and unschoolers, and non-religious folks, and nature lovers, and all the other things that we are - and living it naturally (as seeking and exploring and inquisitive people) then even more things just become non-issues.
Like the games. Trev likes them. That's good enough.
Our friendships. As long as we have a desire to communicate with our friends, then any challenge or occurrence is a natural part of that relationship.
Neighbors.
And family.

I think the thing to do, then, is to strive to interact with my children at all times as my most Authentic Self (who I truly desire to be), among all others (say, extended family), and be confident in that, and know that I am acting rightly (for me).
Which I certainly try to do.
But I think I need to also keep in mind that my way is not necessarily superior, or the way that All Others should behave in their communications.
So simultaneously, while interacting with others and my children, I need to be present in my other relationships, too, and take care that others feel that I am just as supportive and non-judging of them.

In being my most authentic self, I can best demonstrate understanding and my Truth, while not attempting to get anyone to come around to my way of thinking - but if they themselves feel that they are accepted and loved for who they are, then maybe that acceptance will be extended naturally to others, as well.

Prob'ly to be continued, again. :)

Mothering... Naturally

I just had a thought.

Within the current unschooling discussion on my local homeschooling list, one person brought up a question, something like "Why is okay for another to 'teach' your child, and not you?" The question wasn't posed to me, but another.
I didn't think much of it (read: it never arrived to the forefront of my mind) until now.

Teaching is something I don't consciously do. I see it as throwing marshmallows. (Just in case you're not familiar with the term, many unschoolers subscribe to the philosophy that "teaching" a child something - what you think he should know before he chooses to learn it - is really just pounding something temporarily into his head. "It's like throwing marshmallows at his head and calling it 'eating'.")

Not too long ago, Eric (dh) took Trev fishing with him, they met our friend and his son, who is of a similar age to Trev.
At the end of the day, when it was time to go home, Trev just had a melt-down. He was inconsolable because they had not caught any fish.
He just couldn't let it go.
"Look, things aren't always going to go your way," said other six-year-old.
Our friend made a comment to Eric akin to "you need to spend more time with him - he's a Mama's boy," in the kindest way possible.
Eric was a bit concerned about it, wondering if Trev wasn't as equipped as he might be to handle life's woes. He was also concerned that maybe Trev needed exposure to folks outside of our same-thinking philosophy.

I went back and forth on this one for quite a while. Still do, probably. Not that our friend's observation had merit, of course!, just Should I ever speak to him, again? :)

My son plays computer games that have requirements - ie, you have to complete level one before you move on to level two.
I don't necessarily mind it.
Many games operate on reward systems. Stickers, trophies, leadership keys, etc.
Whatever, I think.
In this aspect, I am quite comfortable with letting another teach my children.

So what's the difference???

I've mentioned before that Amanda of Soule Mama said something relatively recently about her not being too keen on parenting books, because they don't focus on the heart of parenting - ie practicing being mindful.
I thought it was a beautiful statement, and quite liberating.

Today, as I have these thoughts drifting and flashing through my head, I begin to consider a few things.

Well, in response to the question "why is it okay for another to teach your child?" and "What do you consider natural circumstances?, for you are responsible for the groceries, too, so that is a circumstance that you've imposed" a few things come to mind.

First is - Well, I have no desire to protect him from everything.
Secondly, I cannot even begin to provide my child with every possession and experience on this planet, in order for him to choose what suits him, and what does not.
I do consider these hindrances natural circumstances.
I know my children.
I pay attention to their likes and dislikes.
The point is not to remove all limits and challenges of life, but to be supporting as I am able amidst those challenges (including my own preferences that may be conflicting).

Following this trail of thoughts is... (a doozy)
So what about your mother, then?
Why do you feel it necessary to correct the way she interacts with your children, and why do you get angry at her for not being more open-minded?
(keep in mind that while my mother has issues, she would never, I don't believe, abuse physically or emotionally my children.)

Isn't She a natural circumstance, also?

Yes.
Yes, actually, she is.

And now... as we're back from getting our tree, these thoughts to be continued tomorrow. :)

the perfect tree

Or, in search of the perfect tree.

We had plans this year.
Picture a serene and motionless field covered in snow, a few trees off in the distance, and a family of four (with a leaping giant dog that was made for the snow) well bundled and talking quietly together while they trek across that field, in search of their holiday tree.
Maybe even on show shoes. Can't have anyone sinking 18 inches into the snow with every step. That sort of ruins the romantic picture, doesn't it?

This picture started forming in my mind when I heard on the news about a month ago that you could buy a permit from a ranger's office for a few dollars.
Ooooh. Yes! That's the way for us! We'll go back in the spring, and replace it with two baby ones. (I've actually had in my head for a long time that I'd like to do this.)

Unfortunately, though he gave it a (half, in my opinion - sorry, Honey) effort to retrieve one of those permits, we have found ourselves in the middle of December, and still no tree.
I suppose it's time to give up.

The Tree is always a big deal for us.
In years past we've always gone to the same place, Robinson Tree Farms. These folks travel from Montana. Kalispell, I believe.

Every year we dig our yellow rope out of the garage, put on hats and coats (none of us hardly ever wear an actual coat, except for this occasion), and drive a few blocks over to the golf course, now under snow. We walk around the south east part of the lot (where they keep what they call the "Old Fashioned"s) for as long as it takes, answering each other's questions of "how 'bout this one?"
Trev and Maddie will no doubt get lost in the maze of trees, hiding, investigating, and dodging.
Usually it's Eric that finds The One.
It's always cold.
It's always dark.
It's always snowing.
Or, at least bits of frozen fluffiness in the air.
Not ever intentionally, that's just the way it has turned out.

I can't explain the magic that happens on that lot.
Maybe it's the grown (and rather gruff) men in Santa hats. Maybe it's the trailer with the colored lights hung crookedly and sporadically. Maybe it's the hand-painted sign - Robinson Tree Farm - legible, but certainly nothing fancy. Maybe it's the fire pit that sits in front of the trailer to keep the men -who are a few hundred miles away from home - warm and cheered.
Maybe it's seeing the other families - you just know that it's the Whole Family - all together, laughing and eager for this particular moment.

We have readjusted our plans, then, to finally get our tree tonight.
I'm sure it won't be snowing.
But it'll no doubt be dark before we finally get there.
With a high temp today of 27, it will definitely be cold.
Probably there will be icy bits in the air.
And I'm guessing even just a little bit of magic.

to go or not to go

Do you ever wonder?
I make calendars of events that are happening in my town.
There are hundreds of things every month.

There are storytimes, and puppet shows, and snow shoe treks in the mountains. There are Junior Ranger programs, and concerts and Frog and Toad bookclubs. Not to mention ice-skating shows, discussions of the Andes, and holiday cookie decorating.

Tons of things.
Mostly I'd rather stay home.
I'd rather decorate cookies at my kitchen table.
I'd rather we did our junior ranger learning on our own, at our own pace, and in our own way. Bothering Daddy with our questions and inquiries.
I'd rather we build a snowman or go sledding in the park than go sit in the cold to passively watch ice skaters.

I think about my own childhood, and what were the magical things for me? I don't really remember too many - I don't mean to sound ungrateful, or that it was wretched - it certainly could be that I just don't remember.
But I remember going to the library was always great. And if we went to an event there - whoof. That was extraordinary.

It isn't always that I just don't wanna go, of course.
I have a reasonable idea of what others would expect of my children (most of the children in my society know particular rules - stand still, raise your hand and wait to be called upon, don't holler and jump while someone is "teaching" you something, etc), and mine just really don't jive with that.
I don't ever require it. Well, hardly ever.
And I'm not saying that we're not fit for society, either.
I'm saying that even if my son read Frog and Toad (which we own, by the way), he'd probably not be all that interested in sitting in a circle and answering questions regarding what he's learned about it.
Puppet shows kind of freak him out - though we haven't been to one in almost a year.
Snow shoe trekking - aaah, that's something that we'd love! But Madd is too young, yet.

I'm really not trying to justify why I don't choose to gallivant around town all the time.
And I do wonder if it's in my children's best interest to Go.

I guess the thing to do is to write down (like so many others do, I'm sure) things that are of particular interest to us, and then the day before decide if we're up for it, or not.

I think too that what it comes down to is- right now our home seems so filled with Things To Do and Things To Learn that I just don't feel the need to explore the world.

If I have the option to Go, then I usually think... "Mmmm, let's Stay."

growing spurt

While I've been discussing these thoughts here, the discussion on my local hs board on the unschooling perspective has continued.
It's really been rather engaging and interesting.
No one's arguing, though things are certainly being dissected and layed out on the table.
I don't usually get involved in discussions there, as it's not worth the aggravation! :)
But this one's been pretty good for me - I've remained cool and observant (on the inside as well as the outside), even regarding topics on which I have definitely strong ideas (such as what unschooling Is and Is Not).

I don't want to bore you, or run this topic to death, I just wanted to say that in the dissection of this topic - labeling, et al, I've somehow managed to grow and stretch a bit, and my embrace of my fellow man and his ideas has been significantly broadened.
Another step toward not judging - a remarkable thing, indeed.

Discussions

I just wanted to say that I think all of you are awesome.
I'm so thankful to have this avenue for exploring and discovering - and these discussions about rusty cars and broken furnaces :), compartmentalizing or labeling - among so many others that have explored here and on your own blogs are so wonderful for me.
I'm thankful that all of you are in my life, and help me to find greater understanding.
It means so much to me.
xxoo
Steph

compartmentalizing

It seems that all around me people are mentioning they don't want to be labeled.
I'm not really sure why that is.
My best guess is that folks feel if they're put into a category, then others will assume they know all there is to know about them. That if they are This, then they cannot be That.
But maybe it's even more than that.
Maybe it's that there are millions of variances of one idea. And that each person is an individual, and that if you label them, they'll lose their individuality and specialness. Maybe we get just too damned much of homogenization.

I personally don't have a problem with labels.
(shrug)
I'm a girl. I'm an unschooler. I'm someone that tries to be a good mama. I'm part this, part that, and a thousand other things.

Maybe I don't have a problem with being labeled because I fully accept everyone's individuality. It (individuality) has been a big part of my life for a long, long time. I thumbed my nose at conventionalism and conformity at a young age, and got the defiance out of my system. In insisting that I be allowed to go my own way, I automatically assume that everyone else has thousands of small parts too.

How I can relate to the idea of being labeled is being judged. Maybe for some it's the same thing, I'm not sure. Maybe folks feel that others are saying or thinking "you are not as you claim because This, in truth, means this...".
I don't know.

Labels, to me, are just descriptions. It's the short of it. It's a rough representative of thoughts or feelings or day to day processes. Of philosophies.
I don't feel that labels are detrimental to our beings at all. Indeed, I look at them as colors.
There are millions and millions of colors, and millions and millions of shades of those colors.
I find them useful, interesting, and helpful.
Without them, I think we -or at least I, certainly- would be lost in a land of murky gray blandness.
Homogenized, indeed.

December 6

Sigh.
Someone posted on my local hs board (the usual one that provides me with such material) a few days ago a statement resembling "I think my teenage son needs more guidance... I like unschooling, but if I let him he'll do nothing but play video games and watch television."
I came in three days later, as I don't visit but every two weeks or so, and no one had yet responded.
So I did.

I had two points that I really wanted to make. One was that we all have fears and worries - be we parents that unschool, homeschool, or have our children in public or private school. It's part of the package. But that with real unschooling you start to pay attention - perhaps in the beginning to see if it's actually working - and pretty soon you start seeing the magic happen.
The other that I really wanted to stress was that one of the greatest things about always unschooling is that we don't have to have a child look at us in confusion and anxiety and beg us to give them some school work to do so that they can have evidence of their intelligence or aptitude. The learning has always been there, and they are perfectly adept and confident that they have the skills and resources to find the knowledge they seek. Though I said it more gently, I think.

Today there was a resulting reply by another that really bothered me (not necessarily addressed to me)- and I'm trying to pinpoint what exactly that is.

I'd respond on the list, but Melissia (damn it) has shut down all dialogue on the subject. :)

One - the person wrote that only honest unschoolers are unschoolers. Implying that we all (homeschoolers) are pretty much the same, in as much that all parents have preferences and initiate learning - thereby all homeschoolers who throw in subjects that are less torturous and actually interesting to the children are unschoolers. Indeed, these are the true unschoolers, and everyone else is a liar. (My words and interpretation.)

The next thing that bothers me is that the person said something like "I've seen unschoolers in action, and when it comes down to it... they parent the same way the rest of us do." She related an example of "hurry up and finish your dinner so that we can get on time to our movie," and that unschoolers are claiming that we put a choice in there that 'we can hurry and eat', 'or we can miss our movie'. (Actually, [grin], most ru.ers would say "are you done? we gotta go... wanna take it in the car, or stuff it in my purse???)
What I wanted to say to her and others - and am saying to you, instead.... :) ... is that some of us do have such things come out of our mouths (I don't think this one in particular makes you a failure at being a radical unschooler) but that One - it's usually not what we want to come out of our mouths, that sometimes we get frustrated and can't think fast enough to stop ourselves and our habits, and Two - we don't do such things because if we don't our children need to be controlled or they will purposely make us late to our movie and therefore our lives hell.

It comes down - yet again - to a different perspective of life. It is her opinion (I'm not trying to flame anyone, her email was just such a great example of how differently people think) that children will just naturally be unruly and rude and inconsiderate unless we make them be nice.
And even that "so called unschoolers" have been heard or seen trying to get their child to be nice to others. And that makes us hypocrites - or at least, kicks us off our high horse and brings us to the same level as everyone else. (Again, my words and interpretation.)

So after reading this, I started thinking about my feelings of ru and parenthood, and my initial post.
Was I being judgmental and arrogant?
Yeah, actually, I was. It is my opinion that if I do the work now - live consensually, raise my children with respect for them, co-sleep if and when they like, let them make the decisions that proclaim best (and loudest, most inconveniently, and most efficiently for them) Who They Are, then I shall have an entirely different relationship with my children than most.
That my family will not be that family on the minivan commercial who makes fun of each other and holds each other in contempt. That it will not take a holiday or special occasion for one to admit begrudgingly that the other is "not so bad".

Do you know what I find so vile? Have you seen that commercial - I haven't seen it in a while, but I don't watch much tv, either (someone else always wants a turn, it seems :) )- where the parent and child scream and yell eachother about the cell phone? The parent says "You'll take this phone, and talk as much as you want!!" and the young teen says "You always listen to me!!!" and they're shouting in a violent way things like "I love you!!!" and "I know you do!!!", etc. It's s'posed to be a parody, I guess, making fun of real family fights and socially accepted differences between children and their parents. I find it disturbing and tragic.
Abysmal, actually.

We all know that living ru is not a free for all.
People are people.
Just now, as I got up, I heard a big "thump!", it was the front door slamming. I am about fifteen steps away from the front door.
"Hey, Bud? Lock that door and stay inside, will ya?"
Evidence, some might say, that I am not a successful radical unschooler. I did, after all, just issue a supposed order.
"Hey, Bud?" I expand... "It's dark outside, and getting cold, and you're in your underwear, and I have a need for knowing that my children are in the house and safe while I'm writing, okay? I'd like to know that you're safe, and warm, and dry."
"Okay, Mom. No problem."
There you have it.
No problem.

An interesting thing that developed for me in working through this is noticing that I am not offended, nor do I feel I have something to prove.
I was bothered, as I said, but I think it was in a more questioning way - Did I come across as a know-it-all, and as a supreme parent?
Could I have appeared as judgmental to the others, and could maybe they have interpreted my ideas or words as "if it is done right, this is how it works...", similar to how friends or relatives might think we are rejecting their chosen way to do things in our decision to homeschool.
It's been an interesting forage.
I can't help but marvel at the gentleness in feeling serene with my own heart and sublime in my intent, finding peace even among this particular adversity.

the neighborhood goes green

(this one's mostly for the locals.)
I have cloth bags that I made out of canvas. I use them. I've sewn them back together a few times.
I was inspired to do so when the natural market was selling them a few years ago for like $12 a piece, or something.
I got to my neighborhood grocer today (a locally owned store) and what did they have but these beauties!Cool! Harmons goes green!
These lovelies were to be had for a a whoppin' 99cents each.

Way to go Harmons!

happiness runs

I can't tell you why, because I really don't know.
I've just been so.... joyful, peaceful, and smilingly content the last couple of days!

Like this....

Really rather wonderful...

Irreverent Child!

As has been my thought process, lately, thinking (though not feeling particularly serious about it, actually), I mentioned something about "God", or maybe Trev did.
"Psh. Everybody knows theres no such thing as God," Trev says.
Can you feel my blood pressure raise just a bit?
"Well, let's talk about this, Son."
note: He was mostly just going off, not really meaning to make a politically/spiritually charged statement.
"I believe God to be..." and on I go, mostly with him tuning me out, and ignoring me. I begin to feel a bit more stressed and possibly disrespected and offended, and go into my "it's like The Force, it penetrates us, surrounds us, it's the energy that binds everything together..." in the words of Obi One. (did I spell his name right?)
"God is everthing," I say. It's this, that, and the other.
"Oh, now I get it," (while he continues to play and I"m not sure if he's even paying attention and listening to me, and I suspect in my "I Know Best" way that he is actually making fun of me, "God is jeans. God is this table. God is that bowl!"
Well, sort of, but why cant he mention things like "God is love, God is beauty, God is being kind to others, God is brotherhood," any of those?
Well, he didn't, so I Did.
Just Because.
I figure God is my department in this house, although such things are always accompanied with our same-old/same-old, which is (altogether, now) 'It's One Of Those Things That Everyone Has To Decide For Himself'.

Fine.
So today (laughs at self) we have this what I can only imagine to be a beautiful ceremony in the park with friends, to welcome the changing season, called (a Waldorf-style) Advent Spiral Festival.
Here is the premise:

"As winter approaches, there is a sleepiness of the world. Through the stories, poems, songs and nature observation, we can experience a feeling of being blanketed for a winter’s nap. The fallen leaves, the animals in hibernation, the shorter daylight hours which bring us inside much earlier than at other times of the year all contribute to this experience. Advent balances the darkness and sleepiness with expectation and anticipation. It is a time of moving through the darkness toward the yearly rebirth of the light, when the days begin to grow longer. "

We begin by placing greenery in a spiral on the floor. At the center of the spiral is a lit candle. Along the spiral are golden stars. Each child and adult enters the spiral carrying his/her apple candle. They walk to the center, light their candle and place it along the spiral path on a golden star. The festival begins in darkness and ends brightly lit by the many candles. The garden of evergreens is a symbol of life everlasting. Arranged in a spiral, the path represents the path to birth and the process of incarnating. The apple is a picture of the body, the house that we live in. The red symbolizes our blood and our forces of will. The flame of the candle is the flame of our individual human spirit. The Advent Garden is an imaginative experience of our individual spirit light incarnating into life on Earth, and how it is able to dispel the darkness around us. In community, our spirits shining together shed a mighty light. Advent can move us toward a deeper understanding of our place in the universe, of all that supports us and all that we aspire to, as well as all that needs our protection and support.

How lovely is that?
So this morning I'm thinkin' I'd better prep the babes (read: make certain that they well understand my expectations - rolls eyes at self Yet Again) so they understand what the spiral is about. I read the short story to Trev, and started to tell him the rest - he's not listening, I'm getting a bit cranky, "Hold, on, Mom. Wait, wait, wait. Aren't spirals what you get into your eyes when you're turning into a Zombie?"

Sigh.

read: Check!

Damn! Fine. I'll try.
Really, I will.
I'll really, really, try....